


Be Careful What You Wish For

by manonlemelon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, coming to term with power, description of violence, theo is so angsty, unwilling alpha theo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2019-10-12 08:22:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17463968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manonlemelon/pseuds/manonlemelon
Summary: Back before he was sent to the ground all Theo ever wished for was power, to be an alpha, to have a pack. Now he knows better, knows that power isn’t as easy as it seems. All he wants now is to try and stay alive, try to be good enough to one day be part of the pack and protect the beta with anger issue. During a fight with an alpha gone feral Theo is given power he doesn’t want anymore. Now he has to learn to live with what he had wished for so long ago





	1. Blood Red

**Author's Note:**

> The alpha Theo fic I had been dying to write for a while now!  
> Thanks to Amanda, Sofia and Sammy fir listening to me talking about this for months without ever writing it!  
> This chapter is relatively okay but it will get angsty. (I bet no one is surprised with that)  
> I hope you enjoy!

After the war against the hunter and the whole anukite situation Theo’s life took a turn for the better. Once the hospital showdown had been over Theo drove Liam, Mason and Corey to the high school to join the rest of the pack. By the time they made it there the anukite had been dealt with as well as the remaining hunters in the school and everyone was safe. They decide to regroup in the morning. Nothing more could be done about Monroe right now and they needed rest, badly, but it was also still dangerous to stay on their own. Most of the pack ended up at Scott’s house, the younger members of the pack had been sent with Jackson and Ethan to the Whittemore’s house as they were currently out of town. Theo had been surprised when Liam had asked him if he was coming in after Mason and Corey had exited the truck and Theo was left there, engine running waiting for the beta to get out and join his friends. He hadn’t even considered that the housing applied to him too, thinking he was just to be the chauffeur. That he was just to drop the 3 teenagers to safety and then try and find a place secluded enough that would prevent the remaining hunters from finding him. Instead he got his first night in a warm bed in months. Got to fall asleep with Liam’s steady heartbeat one room down lulling him to sleep.

Not long after that Liam had discovered Theo’s sleeping arrangement, going to his alpha with the information. It only took a day for Theo to be offered a choice. He could either stay with Liam or in Scott’s spare room and they weren’t taking no for an answer. They wouldn’t let him without a roof on his head. After a discussion with Melissa that he spent analyzing her scent and comportment to make sure she was actually okay with living with the person that temporarily killed her son, he decided for the later. After all, he’d rather not live with the guy he has an unrequited crush on. If it could even still be called a crush when the person is being considered as a personal sunshine, the only light shining through all the darkness that was Theo’s mind. Liam was his sunshine. Being around him could be hard enough as it is but seeing Liam in his natural habit? All sleepy in the morning? Witnessing him helping his mom making dinner, living happily without never saying anything. That would be torture and Theo might have experience with that, but he wasn’t about to put himself through more pain than he had to.

He wasn’t fooling himself he knew he wasn’t pack. But it still felt like he belonged in Beacon hills for the first time in what felt like forever. He had a place to stay and people that actually cared enough to make sure of it. Without any ulterior motive. They would have every right to pretend to look away, not care, let him figure out everything on his own after what he did to each and everyone of them. And yet they helped him. The goodness in their heart was something Theo was sure he could never have for himself. He might try to be good now but he was still Theo Raeken, raised by the Dread Doctors to manipulate, torture and kill, to analyze every situation, predict outcomes and turn them into his advantage. His first instinct will always be to eliminate a threat when possible. Which is something the pack was against and probably why he will never fully be part of the pack. But for now, being at the edge of it was enough for him.

Slowly he figured out what to do with his life. It had been weird at first, thinking about what he wanted out of his existence, no Dread Doctors to order him around, no higher motive to get powers he realize he didn’t need, no scheming and manipulating. After his stay in the skinwalker’s prison he had to face some realizations. One of them was that with power comes responsibility and just like he was after Scott’s there would always be someone there to want his if he had managed to get the power he sought. He would have had to spend his life defending himself to keep it. In the end he was grateful he didn’t have Josh and Tracy’s power anymore, he knew that all he ever did with it was hurt people and if he hadn’t lost it that was exactly what he would be doing still. Some people were meant for power, meant to lead. People like Scott.

Other people, like him, were meant to stay away from it. His focus was no longer on how to make his own pack like it had been what felt like a lifetime ago. What worried him now was picking up enough shift to save as much money as he could so that he would be able to afford his own place and be out of Melissa’s hair. He knew the woman would never kick him out, she had grown fond of him after he woke her up screaming because of a nightmare one night and she had made him talk about whatever had caused it. He had told her all about the Dread Doctors and the horror of his childhood and what being in the ground entailed for him. What it did to him. That night for the first time since he left with the Dread Doctors he felt a mother’s love with the way Melissa held him. Still he needed to be on his own, not that she was very strict with him. It was something he needed to do for himself. He had spent so long under the orders of the mad scientist, then paralyzed by the unknow, not knowing what his next move should be once he was free. Now he knew. His plan was simple really, find his own place, preferably before January so that by the time the second semester starts, he can be settled down and ready to face the hell that is high school. Finally graduate and figure it out from there.

To insure the feasibility of his new goal he had to find a job, luckily for him after the hunter debacle he had grown to be friends with Liam, Mason and Corey. They hang out, play video games, eat pizza, do the normal teenager stuff together… Listening to Liam tells them for the 100th time the story of how he became the sole Lacrosse team captain once more when him and Nolan went to Coach to be co-captain in sign of good faith and Coach laughing in their face, telling them that Nolan would never play in his team ever again, not after what he did to Liam. Apparently beating up your teammate was a big no for the coach. And the joy that Liam had felt about that, like karma had given the ex-hunter what he deserved. It’s rather nice, he hadn’t realized how much he had missed out on that. Human connections. Friends. His relationship with Liam was… Something alright. He was irrevocably in love with the beta there was no denying that anymore, the point of crushes was long gone. He knew he was the werewolf’s anchor. That much was obvious.  But for the rest… As far as Theo was concerned Liam didn’t have any romantic feelings for him whatsoever or he was blissfully in denial about them. Which in itself would be telling enough.

If Liam was in denial it was because he couldn’t see himself ever having feeling for the likes of him and that… in a way hurts more than Liam not having any feelings. You can’t help who you love, but the denial? It’s Liam consciously deciding that Theo isn’t worth enough for Liam, not that he would disagree. It doesn’t make it hurt any less though. So he pushes his feelings aside, pretend they’re not there and be what Liam needs him to be, what he can be: his anchor. Mason and Corey are another story entirely, when they had witnessed him take Gabe’s pain it changed everything. Mason didn’t seem to see him as irredeemable anymore. Slowly they had formed a friendship.

With Corey it had been a bit different, Theo had needed to talk to him, apologize for how he treated him back when he was his alpha. For himself and for Corey. The only remaining alive proof in Beacon Hills that being an alpha wasn’t meant for Theo Raeken. It hadn’t been an easy conversation, for either of them. After that it had been easy to befriend the boy that turns invisible. Their newfound friendship especially developed after Corey had learned that Theo was looking for a job and had offered to introduce him to one of his boss. Not long after that Theo was hired and sharing shift with the other boy at the only remaining record store in Beacon Hills, bringing them closer together.  Theo is still Theo tough, he isn’t sharing his feelings or opening up that easily to any of them but they have inside jokes and fun together. And if he ever felt like he really needed to talk to someone he knew he could count on them. It’s more than he could have ever hoped for.

 

* * *

 

Things were quiet in Beacon Hills for a while. But as always it didn’t last. It was mid-November when the first body showed up, mauled beyond recognition by what look like a wild animal in the preserve on a Tuesday night. For once the body wasn’t found by a screaming Lydia who was away at college but by a screaming jogger in the middle of the day. Once classes and Lacrosse practice had ended Theo, Liam , Mason and Corey had met the sheriff at the animal clinic where Deaton had been looking at the body to try and figure out what they were dealing with.

“Those are definitely claws mark, I couldn’t say if it’s a werewolf or a werecoyote but it’s definitely not an animal.”

Theo couldn’t help but raised both his arms in defense before saying “I didn’t do it, don’t even know the guy.” The surprise on everyone’s face at his statement indicated it didn’t even cross their mind… The chimera didn’t really know what to do with this information. Sure they slowly started to trust him and ask for his help, help him even but not even suspecting him when a body torn up by claws shows up… What was he supposed to make out of that? But now wasn’t really the time to ponder on it.

The sheriff sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “So we have a supernatural problem. Should we call Scott?”

“Not yet. Not until we have at least an idea of what we’re dealing with. Maybe this was just an accident with a newly turned werewolf or a rogue omega and Theo and I can handle it.” Liam answered. “No need to worry him just yet.”

“Are you getting anything from the body?” Deaton asked, looking over at the tree supernatural in the room.

“No… Just death and blood.” Corey spoke before adding “You guys?” looking at the chimera and the beta. They both took a moment to focus their senses before agreeing with Corey that they couldn’t detect anything either.

“You’d probably have better luck with where the body was found rather than a body that’s been in a freezer for several hours.” Mason intervened. The sheriff immediately offered to show them the spot and it wasn’t long before the 4 of them were piled in Theo’s truck, following the cruiser in front of them toward the preserve. Once they made it out of the car Theo didn’t need the sheriff’s indication to find where the body had been found, the smell of blood still pungent guided him effortlessly until he reached the blood-soaked soil where the attack happened.

It didn’t take long for Theo to catch a faint scent, definitely a werewolf most likely female. Clearly didn’t make any effort to conceal her scent. Either she didn’t care, or she didn’t know how or she was just too far gone to even consider it. They tried tracking the scent but lost it not far from the crime scene as it wasn’t as concentrated and had been too long since the wolf had been there. The three supernatural would be able to recognize the scent if they came across it now though and could be on the lookout for it.

Theo and Liam spent the next few days patrolling the preserve and the city at night, making sure the wolf wasn’t anywhere near the town and that no human was wandering around. If any sane human Beacon Hills citizen went to the preserve at night after everything that has happened over the years in this town they were simply stupid if you asked Theo. Seriously after all the “animal attacks” and death why would you ever go near that place especially at night? But they still made sure the preserve was clear of stupid teenagers without ever going in too deep. Since they hadn’t spotted the wolf in town if they were lucky she just had been passing through. Though considering this is Beacon Hills and the nemeton that was sitting somewhere in the preserve it was very unlikely.

On Friday afternoon a second body was found signaling that the wolf was still in Beacon Hills. Liam ditched practice that day as well as last period, climbing in Theo’s awaiting truck on the parking lot. They had decided to not wait around anymore and to scour the preserve for her. If only to at least get an idea of her territory and find a way to deal with her if it was a rogue omega and if it was a somewhat sane person try and figure out what she could possibly want. The night was starting to fall when Theo first caught her scent deep in the woods. Strong. She had been there not so long ago, maybe was still nearby. It didn’t take them very long to follow the scent and catch up to the wolf. From afar they could hear growling and a rapid heartbeat. Rogue omega it was. They got as close as they could without being noticed, observing the wolf that was turning its back on them.

Suddenly she turned around, sniffing the air, searching for something. Hopefully not them. The wolf growled, eyes glowing red. She wasn’t just a rogue omega. They had to deal with an alpha gone feral. Liam and him could possibly take her with the element of surprise but it could be very risky, wound inflicted by an alpha were slower to heal, they didn’t have any back up right now. The best strategy was to fall back, call for reinforcement. He won’t risk Liam getting severely injured, plus the wolf seemed to have confined herself in the preserve as they hadn’t caught her scent anywhere in town and the only two victims had been murdered here. Theo felt Liam move on his right, ready to engage the girl. The chimera immediately grabbed him by the waist, pulling him back to the safety the bushes offered, whispering in his ear low enough so that the wolf wouldn’t notice them.

“Don’t. She is an alpha gone feral. We need back up.”

“We can take her. There is two of us.” Liam whispered back.

“And she won’t hesitate to kill us while we try not to. So unless your pack suddenly changed their mind on the no killing we need to go.”

Liam grumbled a bit more, looking just like the grumpy puppy he can be making Theo smile at his antics before he agreed to retreated to Theo’s truck. Once they were far enough from the alpha Liam called Scott to inform him about their current problem which to no surprise Scott answered by telling them he was driving back from Davies and should be in Beacon Hills in 4 hours. In the mean time they should get Parrish on board and make sure no human would go near the preserve.

Over 3 hours later Parrish was posted at one end of the preserve while Theo and Liam had been circling around, set to meet in the middle any minute now. It wasn’t long before Theo could hear Liam on the phone, saying to who he assumed was Scott that he got it before hanging up. Despite the darkness of the night Theo didn’t miss the smile Liam shot him when he spotted him before running in a light jog toward the chimera.

“I talked to Scott he is still half an hour out of Beacon Hills but he will be there soon. He said we should start heading in the preserve to try and track her. Scott says to not engage her and keep him updated on the situation he will join us as soon as he is there.”

“Did he also happen to share his plan on how to deal with a feral alpha without killing her?”

“Yeah about that… So… we need to subdue her, knock her out without causing too much damage and without getting killed.”

“I meant after we did that. Or does he plan to just keep her chained in someone’s basement?”

“He wants to try and figure out a way to bring her back to normal and if we can’t… The backup is Eichen.”

“I sincerely hope for her that Scott can fix her.” Theo said before tilting his head toward the preserve, signaling they should start tracking the girl. They got lucky not even 15 minutes later when they caught a still fresh scent after going in the general direction of where they saw her first earlier, Liam shoot a text to Scott letting him know they had caught a scent and to use the phone tracking app the pack had decided to invest in to catch up to them when he finally got there. Slowly they caught up to her, the scent becoming stronger by the minute until finally her rapid heartbeat could be heard not far from them. Theo couldn’t see anyone beside Liam not far from him.

“Can you see her?” He whispered loud enough for Liam to hear but too low to catch the wolf’s attention.

“No. You?”

“Same. Let’s just keep our distance until Scott shows up.” Liam nodded in acceptance.

They kept following the wolf through the woods, letting her guide them toward her destination if she even had one. Theo couldn’t help but notice that the environment was getting more familiar by the second despite not being able to identify why. He knew he had been in that part of the preserve before. Maybe because they were coming close to the Nemeton? A few minutes later the answer appeared crystal clear in his mind when the sound of running water could be heard nearby. Just like he dreaded the wolf kept going in that direction.

Theo tried to prepare himself, knowing full well what he will see but it didn’t change anything. He hadn’t been back there since Stiles and Liam followed him there. Ever since he got back from the ground. Ever since he wasn’t a power-hungry sociopath anymore. Nothing could be done, the moment the bridge cam in sight Theo froze, eyes locked on it, unable to look away. He could almost picture her standing in the middle of it, chest gaping open and eyes staring straight into his, instead of the back of the feral alpha. Everything stood still for a second, he knew he needed to move, that he was left completely exposed, if the wolf was to turn around she would see him, could hear Liam whispering his name harshly, trying to catch his attention but he just couldn’t move. This is where his sister died. Where he killed her. Watched her die, stood by while she begged for his help.

Suddenly he felt something tugging at his arm, trying to drag him toward covered ground, causing him to stumble, making a branch snap loudly beneath his feet. His eyes were still locked on the bridge, he saw the wolf turn around like in slow motion, watched her notice them, her eyes glowing red full of untamed rage, a desire for blood. Deep inside him in that moment he knew everything was about to change.

She was on them in no time, claws out and roaring snapping Theo out of his daze. He flicked his claws, eyes glowing yellow and fangs out, standing defensively next to Liam. They were ready for a fight. They knew that together, they could be deadly, a force to be reckoned with, fighting in complete synchronization effortlessly. They still were no match against an alpha lost in her crazed mind while they were holding back any blows that could make serious damage.

Theo groaned, feeling his ribs crack as he brutally encountered a tree after the girl had thrown him away like a ragged doll. All he could hope was that Scott would show up soon, they wouldn’t be able to hold off for much longer without getting seriously injured. He got up and joined Liam in the fight again, trading blows together effortlessly. After Liam rolled on Theo’s back to drop kicked her in the chest, the chimera thought they would get a few seconds to breathe and give him time to be able to figure out a way to take her out. But they didn’t have such luck, the alpha was back on her feet immediately, roaring defiantly. Well at least that will make Scott hurry up if he heard it.

The fight had brought them closer to the bridge, much closer than Theo thought. He only realized when he was thrown against the railing, his heard hitting hard and breath being knocked out of him. He could only watch as the alpha threw Liam on the ground so hard that the beta looked disoriented, borderline unconscious, like he couldn’t fight back, only watch as the girl raised her claws, ready to plunge them into the beta’s exposed throat. All Theo could think was not Liam, that he needed to protect the beta at all cost. He wouldn’t let anything happen to the one person that made the sun shine in his live. The one person he cared about most. If he couldn’t save Liam then why being freed at all.

He acted on instinct, the ruthless fighter inside, the darker part of him taking control. Before the alpha could deliver the blow, he was on her, grabbing her throat from behind. He felt it tear under his claws, giving away without much of a resistance as he ripped it out, blood spurting from her body as she fell on the side. All Theo could think about was the werewolf laying on the ground, if he was okay. The steady heartbeat reassuring the chimera. What he just did not even registering to his worried filled brain. He rushed to the beta, extending his blood covered hand.

“Liam! You good?” He asked as the beta groaned, eyes fluttering, still obviously disoriented until the beta regained focus on the chimera crouching by his side.

“Yeah… I’m pretty sure my skull is fractured though.” The beta answer as he grabbed the hand being offered to him and Theo pulled him up, the both of them staring at their linked hand, red dripping from it. Realization slowly crept on Theo’s mind. There was no way the alpha was alive. He had practiced that move to perfection. He just killed someone. Again. The one rule he had to obey by, no killing. It should have been easy but yet here he was. Rule broken and hands filled with blood once more. It didn’t matter that it was to save the most precious life of them all, blood had still been spilt.

“Theo…” Apparently The beta had come to the same conclusion as him, he could feel Liam’s eyes on him. Harsh and unforgiving most likely. He couldn’t bring himself to meet the younger boy’s gaze. To face what he just did. He couldn’t bear to look at the beta and see disappointment or worse even, disgust in his beautiful blue eyes. He just kept staring at his hand, trying to will the blood away.

“She is dead.” Scott’s voice stated next to him. He had been so caught up in Liam and what happened that he didn’t even heard the alpha approach. He didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to explain to Scott what he just did? To everyone else really. They offered him a second chance and he destroyed it by going back to who he was. Still. He didn’t feel bad about his action. It saved Liam, he could never regret that. The beta was alive and breathing next to him right now and that was worth more than anything else. His freedom included. The consequence of his action though, that he regretted already. It wasn’t just Liam and Scott. It was everyone else he had grown to care about. Mason, Corey, Melissa… How was he supposed to face them?

The chimera finally casted a glance to the dead body lying on the floor. Just like he expected it didn’t really make him feel anything. It wasn’t his first body or kill. Hell, it wasn’t the first supernatural, not even the first werewolf he had killed. Alpha on the other hand… In that moment the consequence of what he just did really dawned on Theo. It wasn’t about killing someone and it going against the pack’s way of life. It wasn’t about doing anything to save Liam and what it said about him. He killed an alpha. Power. That was the consequence. Unwanted power. That he had spent years yearning for. And now it terrified him. Maybe… Maybe because of his chimera status it didn’t work. The transfer just couldn’t happen between a scientifically engineered creature and a real wolf, maybe it got lost in the universe when he plunged his claws in her throat.

Deep down Theo knew it worked, he could feel it inside of him, humming in his veins, a strength he didn’t have before. But he needed to hold onto the hope just for a while longer. The chimera rose to his feet and walked toward the bridge. He needed to know. Couldn’t bear to look either Scott or Liam and ask them what color his eyes were. He looked down the railing, into the water of the creek. The same water his sister died in, the moon showing him his own reflection. The water that was there for his rebirth into the monster he was made to be. One last moment where he could pretend this wasn’t happening.

“Theo? Are you okay?” Liam asked, voice filled with concerned. The beta had followed him. Good. His presence will give him the strength he needs to face his future. Theo closed his eyes and with one last breathe filled with the beta’s comforting scent he let his eyes glow before slowly opening them. Observing his reflection in the place where it all started for him. The image it returned him was glowing red eyes. Alpha eyes. Red like the blood he just spilt. Had spilt, so many times over the years. The blood of his own pack. In a way it was fitting, that color defined him. And now his eyes were reflecting it too. Blood red eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts! I'll try to update once a month (Try being the keyword here)


	2. One Last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back sooner than expected don't get used to it though!  
> This chapter got out of control so I had to split it in two but the good news is I have a good part of chapter 3 already written now so it shouldn't take too long to finish  
> I hope you enjoy where this is going  
> If you spot any mistake/something that doesn't make sense please let me know!

Theo was frozen. A million thoughts running through his brain and yet nothing at the same time. It was like his mind was processing every possible scenario, yet he wasn’t able to grasp any of it. This should have never happened, it had started out so simple, just a rogue werewolf. No crazy villains like the anukite or Ghost Riders, just a simple werewolf. And yet… He could have never planned that outcome. He always figured he would kill again eventually, most likely for the same reason he just did. To protect what was most dear to him. He just had never expected it to be because of a simple werewolf instead of an all-out war against whatever the pack was facing at the moment. Never expected it to be so soon, he had hoped to have more time. With everyone, getting brief glimpse of the life he could have had through those small moments of happiness and acceptance. Enjoying Liam’s smile that felt just like basking in sunshine. More time with Liam really. He was his light in the darkness. And now he will have to give it up, return in the shadow, pretending he doesn’t miss it more than anything every single second of the rest of his life.

There was no way out of this. The body on the floor made sure of that. If Scott doesn’t send him away for killing the girl it would be for the power he now possess. There couldn’t be two alphas in Beacon Hills. Especially a true alpha and…. Whatever he was. Murderer. Power stealer. A monster by all mean. After all it was Scott himself that once told him he was barely human. He might have changed but the power he possesses now could just as easily bring him back to being the old Theo. He has no business being an alpha and everyone knew it. He could make up excuses and justifications for his actions. Blame it all on acting on instinct but the problem was still there. His instinct was to kill. Eliminate the threat. No matter what that was who he is. And that will never change, it’s the reason he could never have realistically been part of Scott’s pack. He might fight against those instincts all his life, but he knows they will never go away. He had been raised with them, live with them for too long, saw too much. Killed too many people.

His hands gripped the railing of the bridge tighter as he tried to bring himself back to the real world. He couldn’t get lost in his mind right now, he needed to face consequences. After all he would have the rest of his life to reflect on that night and everything that came with it. To come up with all the what if and mourn what he lost.

He could feel a hand grabbing his arm, squeezing it. He would know that touch, that scent anywhere, could pick it up instantly. Feeling like Sunshine on his skin. Liam. “Theo?” The concern dripping from the beta’s voice finally made the chimera look up from the cold dark water flowing under him, losing himself in the bluest eyes he had ever seen. Even in the darkness of the night. Theo could see the worry in those beautiful eyes, Liam hadn’t realized yet, didn’t understand what it meant. He was in shock. Still recovering from his head injury. Theo flashed his eyes, showing what he had become before turning away and facing his fate. Facing Scott. It was easier than see the understanding dawning on the beta’s features.

“I know what I did.”

“You don’t have to explain. I saw what happened. She was about to kill Liam, you saved him. Sure you could have just knock her out but it was but it was in the middle of a fight and she had Liam. But I understand why you did it. I wished you could had found another way but it’s done now. Liam is alive because of you.”

Steady heartbeat. Scott actually believed and meant what he said. Well at least there wouldn’t be a need for an awkward conversation about why he sacrificed his shot at one day maybe being part of the pack for the beta with the blue eyes. Liam didn’t need to know that just yet. He will figure it out eventually in a few days when it will become clear to him that he isn’t welcome in Beacon Hills anymore

“You know I would never take it back because of that. Do whatever you have to do.”

“Do what?” Liam exclaimed, clearly thinking that they were in some miracle world where there wouldn’t be any consequence for his action. “Scott? Nothing needs to be done except dealing with the body. She was out of it I don’t think she was ever coming back. Theo probably did her a favor. And he saved me.”

“I know Liam, we’re still going to have to talk about this. A woman is dead. But later, right now we have a more pressing issue.” Scott said while gesturing toward the body laying in a pool of its own blood.

“What do you want to do with the body? I can take care of it.” Theo offered after all it’s the least he could do, cleaning up after himself. It’s not like he doesn’t have experience in the matter. He had made quite a few bodies disappear over the years for the dread doctors. They didn’t like cleaning after themselves and they had just the person to do so. Raised to help them in whatever they needed. Helping them finding victims and getting rid of the evidences.

“I’ll deal with this. The sheriff knows about her, he should get to decide how to handle this. Theo take Liam to his house and wait for me at home.”

The sheriff… Yet another person he disappointed, though the guy was probably expecting it, waiting for this moment. Now that he was thinking about it, he just probably made the guy’s day. He finally had a good reason to put Theo in jail. Where he should belong by all mean. No need to stick around any longer than necessary, he should enjoy his freedom while it still last. Theo looked the alpha in the eye. Searching for… He wasn’t sure exactly to be honest. A sign of sort, to help him figure out what his next move should be. Leaving the forest was definitely his best course of action right now so he nodded at Scott, glanced at the bridge once last time before starting to walk toward where his truck was parked, grabbing Liam’s arm to make him follow.

“We’re going.”

“But…”

“You’ve heard Scott. Let him handle this. You need to go home and rest don’t you have practice in the morning? Don’t your team need their captain?”

“Yes but”

“Liam, stop. It’s done. Let’s just go home.” Theo snapped, dragging them deeper in the forest, further away from the one place that will haunt him even more now. At least it was out of reach now. The rest of the walk was spent in silence, Theo could feel Liam stealing glances next to him, his chemosignals being all over the place but the most prominent one was worry. Liam was worried about him, what just happened and what will happened. There was no way to tell though if he was concerned about the consequences of tonight or about Theo. The chimera was aware he wasn’t being his controlled self right now, that the beta could sense he wasn’t okay and Liam worries whenever one of his friends isn’t okay. Because that’s what he was to the wolf, as crazy as it could sound.

Theo was kind of surprised that Liam stayed silent, not pushing to voice whatever was happening in his head. He appreciated it nonetheless, the silence helping him refocus, each footstep bringing him back closer to his usual self, his walls being rebuild as he was getting further and further away from the spot that changed his life. It took him a good 5 minutes to realize that thing that was grounding him wasn’t the distance that kept increasing but the warmth emanating from the wrist of the beta that he had apparently never let go. He should let go now, he really should but he didn’t want to give up on the reassuring touch, the soft skin under his fingertips grounding him to reality, keeping his mind from spiraling, blocking everything else as the slowly took over his mind, being the only thing he could focus on. He knew eventually he will have to deal everything he was repressing right now but it could wait a little bit longer. Selfishly he kept holding on, deciding that he would only let go if Liam said something, tightening his grip a little bit.

 

* * *

 

Once they finally reached his truck Theo unlocked it and grabbed the backpack he still kept in the backseat containing a change of clothes, some toiletries… The basics. He grabbed the water bottle that was in it as well as a towel and a hoodie which was much more of a challenge than it sounded as he was only using his left hand to not smear blood anywhere. He didn’t want the smell to linger in his truck. Better clean his hand before driving, who wanted to have blood on their steering wheels? Or get pulled over by an officer, he needed to change too at least his shirt, his blood-soaked jeans will have to wait they weren’t the most urgent.

After having shrugged off the hoodie and shirt he was wearing that was drenched in blood he was struggling to open the bottle with his relatively clean hand that hadn’t been covered in blood after ripping a throat out when Liam covered it with his own hand gently, squeezing Theo’s fingers.

“Here, let me help you.” The beta said softly before grabbing the bottle, opening it effortlessly, gesturing at the chimera to expose his bloody hand. Theo extended it wordlessly and Liam let water run over it, dripping pink instead of the translucid it should be. Theo scrubbed away at his hand trying to erase the red colored evidence of the night. There will always be one red stain he couldn’t wash away though, despite his best effort. The one branding himself, his status, the new color of his eyes. He tried to clean the best he could but cold water and no soap didn’t make it easy. The towel was ruined now, he will have to throw it away once he got back to Scott’s house. Same as his clothes, there was no salvaging them. There was a part inside him that scream that he should burn it, get rid of the evidence in a way where there was no risk of finding it, the trash was too risky. The part that had been killing for years, that had washed away worst stain.

“Hey… It’s going to be okay don’t worry. You did it to save me. Scott knows that. No one… He won’t send you back for that.” Liam said while squeezing the chimera’s shoulder softly, surprising him, his hand warm on his exposed skin before whipping specks of blood from his face. Theo had been getting lost in his mind again. Hadn’t sensed the beta closing in but it brought him back to the present and reminded him to put on the hoodie he had grabbed from his bag, protecting himself from the chilly wind of November.

Liam thought that the problem was only the body laying on the forest ground he still couldn’t see the real issue there. The one his eyes screamed. He was an alpha now. It won’t be so easy to just brush off. Without that then yeah maybe it would just had been another kill for him and life would have continued as if nothing had happened. But it wasn’t and things will never be the same. They couldn’t be no matter how much he hoped for it.

“I still did it when there had been other options. All I had to do was hold her back for a few more seconds, distract her giving Scott the time he needed to get to us. And yet I have no regret.” The ‘because it saved you’ was left unsaid even if his eyes screamed it. “What happened is on me. She wouldn’t even had spotted us if it weren’t for me.” That was the truth. Liam almost died because of him, because he just couldn’t shake away memories from his past. He put the beta in danger. The one person he wanted to protect. And he had to live with that. Knowing in might happened again very well each time they are roaming the preserve in search of the latest bad guy they have to fight.

“I know where we were. It’s the creek where your sister died in.” Liam answer, uncertainty in his voice, clearly not knowing how to approach the subject, afraid that it will upset the chimera.

“The bridge where I watched her die yes, watched her begging me to help and did nothing. I stood there. And blamed it all on them but the truth is I had a choice. I could have said no. But I didn’t”

“You were a kid, kids make mistakes. And you changed. You’re different now, you know better, you would change it if you could. What happened back there... That wasn’t your fault. Anyone would have frozen when coming across a place that hold so much meaning. You saw what being in the zoo did to me. This is your zoo.”

“It’s not the same.”

“It’s a place where you suffered a trauma. Same as me. You were in the ground with your sister, and I’m pretty sure that whatever happened down there only heightened that trauma and the significance of where she died. I’m surprised you snapped out of it so fast to be honest.”

Theo stayed silent at that. Liam had a point even if their situation was vastly different. After a few seconds he finally asked. “Are you going to tell Scott?”

“Why wouldn’t I? He will understand. Plus, he already knows about the bridge he probably recognized it too.” Liam answered completely oblivious that the alpha might blame Theo for endangering his beta. That’s how much Liam didn’t think he was responsible. It had been a stupid question anyway, of course Liam would tell Scott exactly what happened.

“Yeah… Just get in. We should get going.”

“it will be okay you’ll see.” The beta said, giving him one of his precious sunshine smile, a faith in his words that Theo could only ever hope to have. He left Theo’s side for the first time since the bridge, climbing in the passenger seat. Theo threw the empty water botte ruined towel and clothes on the backseat before finally climbing behind the wheel and starting the engine. They spend the ride in silence, Theo enjoying the presence of the beta, allowing himself to believe that just maybe Liam was right. Things could be okay, even if he knew better.

As they approached their destination Theo realized that depending on how the night will go this might be the very last time he will ever see Liam. And he wasn’t ready for that. Would never be. As the truck came to a halt in front of the beta’s house he looked at the beta, drinking in him, trying to memorize the exact shade of his eyes, the way they look so big and open, inviting him to just let himself drown in them.

“I’ve realized… I’ve never said it but thanks. For saving me.” Liam said before dragging his eyes away from Theo, reaching for the door handle.

“Anytime.” Theo answered lowly, a small smile dancing on his lips.

The beta opened the door and climbed out of the truck, before closing it again he opened his mouth “You have nothing to worry about.” Theo nodded sharply at that.

“Night Liam.”

“Night.” The door finally closed behind the beta who lingered a few seconds, hand resting on the truck before finally starting to walk up to his front door.

“Thanks Liam. For everything. I’ll see you.” He mumbled once the beta had closed the door, not really expecting the beta to catch it. The chances that he won’t see the beta again were higher than the alternative but… he could always hope.

“What does that even mean?” The beta asked, confusion on his face, turning around toward the truck, ready to march back in next to Theo.

Theo sighed. “I’m an alpha now. Thinks will be different. Scott will let you know how it will be handled.” He didn’t wait for an answer, driving away into the night, leaving Liam behind with an open mouth and a brain filled with questions. Driving toward his fate. Scott’s house. Even if the alpha probably wouldn’t be back already, leaving Theo alone with his thoughts.

 

* * *

 

Not even 10 minutes later he made it through the front door, the house was plunged in darkness, no heartbeat could be heard. Melissa was still at work having a night shift that day. He made his way into the house, stopping in front of the room that had been his ever since not so long after the anukite was defeated. Who know when he will ever get to enter a room that is his own in a place he can call home. He gave himself a few more seconds before finally pushing the door open. Everything was as he had left it in the morning, as if nothing had changed. Yet everything had.

The chimera slowly made his way to his bed before sitting on it, finally letting all the walls he had put up down. Letting himself feel everything he had been avoiding as best he could. The guilt, pain, and fear. Mostly fear. He was an alpha. That alone… He had a hard time grasping it, accepting that it was real. He had spent years wishing for that kind of power, destroyed everything standing in his way to get it. Manipulated, killed, broke people for it. And it all failed. Like a cosmic joke once he had finally gotten over his thirst of power, once he had wanted nothing to do with it that’s when he was given power. And so easily. All it took was his claws buried in a crazed wolf, all it took was saving someone. How ironic. Every other time he had tried to obtain that kind of power he had been dead set on killing and when he finally got it killing had been a mere instinct, not even intended, all his brain could think of was saving Liam, the killing was just a side-effect. And now here he was, having power inside of him that he would give up in a heartbeat if he could.

What was he expected to do with it? He had witness Scott being an alpha for long enough now to know he wasn’t someone to be trusted with leading or power. He would only cause people pain and suffering, ruin their life. Like he did to Josh and Tracy. They died so he could get more power, that he didn’t even keep in the end. They died for nothing. How many more people would he eventually lead to their death now? He shouldn’t be an alpha. Who would ever want him as one knowing how his last pack ended? And now that he wasn’t a power-hungry asshole anymore, he would actually feel responsible for anyone that would end up being in his pack. He couldn’t do that. Wasn’t sure how he could ever handle caring this much, protecting, making sure people were still alive at the end of the day. That just wasn’t him. Sure, survival was his thing but that was his own. Liam was the only person he would put the survival above his own.

To be honest this power terrified him, he just wanted to give it back. No good could ever come out of it. Not with him wielding it. He just didn’t want it anymore. And it was very likely that no one would ever believe him, he was willing to bet Stiles would even think that all of this happened because Theo planned it. Crafted a new plan to get power. Which sure he could have, maybe… His mind was already running with the possibilities, how he could have made it all happen. But the point was that he didn’t and who knows who would even believe that once the possibility is thrown out there. Why would he ever want to be an alpha now? He wanted power to escape the Dread Doctors and they were gone. He had so much more to lose now than he ever did before. Which wasn’t complicated considering that his life had been the only things he could have lost before. He just wished he could just will the power out of his body. He just can’t be an alpha.

The saddest part of it all? He will never have a pack. There was no way he was biting anyone, if it would even work with him being a chimera and all, and even if he did someday they would realize they could do much better and leave. He might be an alpha now, but he was destined to live just like an omega, packless until the day he dies. No pack would ever take in another alpha. The only pack that had several that he knew of had been two pack merged into one by alphas mating and Deucalion’s alpha pack and they all knew how that ended up. In death and destruction.

He needed to do something, anything, just staying there and drowning in his own mind wasn’t helping. This was a nightmare but not one he could wake up from. There was no opening his eyes once it was all over, no Tara to rip his heart out and no Melissa making him a cup of tea when she was coming home from her nightshift. Only the sad ugly truth that he was something he didn’t want to be. A monster with too much power, that he couldn’t handle. Well at least his eyes finally branded him like the killer he was. It just wasn’t blue like they should be. Still the red was enough. No one would think that an alpha without a pack didn’t kill to get his power… Though at least everyone in Beacon Hills would know how it happened. But the city already had an alpha and granted there had been times where there had been several alphas in Beacon Hills but this was different. He didn’t have a pack and even if Scott by some miracle didn’t saw him as a threat or danger he couldn’t just ignore this problem. There was only one solution and he could pretend all he want but he knew deep down from the moment he realized he was an alpha what needed to happen.

Theo had to go. He was lucky enough that Scott didn’t seemed to have planned to send him to Eichen, or worse… Back to the ground immediately. Otherwise he wouldn’t have just sent him home, giving him the opportunity to run away. He wasn’t going to wait around for Scott to realize he made a mistake though. He might love Liam with all his heart and would do anything to protect him, but it also applied to himself. Theo is a survivor if nothing else. And right now his instinct was telling him to run. Get in his truck and drive as far away as he could. He couldn’t be around Beacon Hills not with the power that was coursing through his veins. Couldn’t be around Liam or anyone he cares about. They all know how it ends.  Himself as an alpha just ends up with the dead bodies of the people close to him piling up and blood on his hands. And that he won’t allow to happen to Liam. Even if it means leaving and never seeing his Sunshine again. Even if it means ripping his own heart out. He would rather go back in the ground and spend an eternity there than hurt the boy he loves.

Plus even if Scott didn’t have him throw in some dark hole where he could never hurt anyone he would still at least ask him to leave Beacon Hills, or maybe not because someone would have to keep an eye on him. Better go before he was asked to, saving everyone the trouble. And keep his freedom. He might be a monster and will ruins life with his new power but that doesn’t mean he is ready to give up the one thing he sacrificed everything for. The one thing he killed his first pack for, the ultimate goal after spending some much time with the dread doctors. Why he helped them, why he attempted to destroy the pack, why he wanted power so badly. To be free.

Theo reached under his bed and grabbed the duffel bag that used to contain all his possession up until not so long ago, throwing it on the bed. He took the time to take a shower first, washing away the last evidences of what happened from his person. He then went back downstairs and grab a trash bag to put his blood covered clothes and towel in it before going to toss it in the trash, fighting his urge to set it on fire. Once that was taken care of it was time to pack. It didn’t take him much time to collect his clothes, toiletries and the few knick-knacks he had accumulated over the last few months. He was surprised that the bag was slightly overflowing. He had apparently accumulated more things than he thought. Still he managed to somewhat close it. He was packed and technically ready to go, to drive and never look back. It just was harder than anticipated, willingly giving up the place he had learned to call his home. There was still a part of him that clung to the ridiculous hope that he wouldn’t have to leave. As if two alphas could share a home. He just couldn’t help himself, it’s not like he wanted to leave the people he had grown to care about. Especially Liam. That will be the hardest part. Leaving the beta behind.

He just wished he could go see him one last time before leaving. Wanted to see his sunshine smile again, feel the warmth that never seemed to fail emanating from him. Feel his soft skin, maybe finally find the courage to kiss those perfect lips before disappearing forever. It wasn’t like Liam could reject him if he wasn’t there for him to be able to do so. He just wished he could enjoy the beta’s presence one final time, take in everything he could, his scent, his smile, hos voice, the exact shade of his eyes under the afternoon sun, the way he crunched his nose when in deep thoughts… Anything really. He would give anything to never have to leave the one person he loved fully and completely. But he couldn’t, he had to go and without doing a Liam detour. The beta would never let him leave, would somehow convince him to stay, Theo was sure of that. He was way too smart to not notice that it would be a goodbye visit. And if anyone could convince him to not drive away into the night it would be the beta he would do anything for.

He just had to remind himself he was doing this for Liam. He was strong enough he could just walk away. It was what was best for everyone involved. Liam won’t be put in danger by his inability to let go of his past or by his newfound power. He will do his best to keep him save, especially from himself. And so will everyone else. It won’t be easy but he will drive until he is far enough from Beacon Hills that he won’t be tempted to just go back. Though that might require him to go to the other side of the world. At least he had a bit of money saved up from his job at the record shop, that should allow him to get far enough and then he will figure it out. Find a new job, he has slept in his car before he could do it again. He will just miss home terribly. But it’s the right thing to do and as selfish as Theo is he will always try to do the right thing for the beta with the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

It wasn’t just Liam he would leave behind though, it was video game nights with him Mason and Corey, it was answering Mason’s never-ending questions about the supernatural, shift with Corey at the record shop where they complain about the management, Melissa’s hugs, bringing her dinner at the hospital when she had night shift… It was all the little things. He doubted he would ever find that kind of acceptance ever again. Because he knew that if he ever found new people that he would let in his life again he would never tell them the truth about who he is, what he did, his whole past. Beacon Hills might be the town where he hurt the most people but it was also where people had forgiven him, slowly started to accept him despite his past mistakes and he knew that he would never find anything like it again. The moment he grabs his back and walk out of that house would be the moment where it will all be over and he just wasn’t ready yet. He would grasp any seconds he could, prolong the inevitable before he had to leave forever. Just a few seconds was what he kept telling himself up until he couldn’t anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Theo and his feelings and Liam's need to talk for where it ended.


	3. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 3! Sorry if it's a bit slow and not much happens that would be because it's the second part of chapter 2 that i split. I hope you enjoy!  
> Please let me know if you spot any mistakes

The chimera didn’t want to leave, he truly wished he could stay but it was what had to be done. What was best for everyone. Theo had apparently been waiting too long, trying to prolong what he dreaded. Before he could finally make himself get on his feet and walk away, he heard someone opening the door and climbing up the stairs. It only took him a few seconds of focusing his senses to know it was Scott according to the heartbeat, scent and steps. There was no point in trying to sneak out, it looked like he will have to have face the alpha. He just hoped he could walk away a free man. It didn’t take long for Scott to be standing in front of him and notice the back next to Theo. The alpha sighed before sitting down, silence stretching out between them. Theo wouldn’t be the one to start that conversation, he just didn’t know how or what to say. Scott was the one who wanted to talk in the first place, otherwise he would have just held the door open until he was gone.

“What happened out there?” Scott finally asked, breaking the silence.

The one question he dreaded. How does he explain that? How was he supposed to look the true alpha in the eyes and tell him he almost got his beta killed because of a stupid bridge? How do you even start to explain that? He was usually so good with words, could make them flow out of his mouth, use them to get exactly what he wanted but in that moment he just couldn’t make a sound. It took him a bit more time before he finally managed to open his mouth. Thankfully Scott hadn’t pressed him, giving him the time he needed to collect himself, form the words in his mind and find his voice again. He started at the beginning, after Scott had hanged up the phone, relating how him and Liam tracked the girl down, followed her, planned on staying at a safe distance until Scott was there. His voice broke when the story reached the critical point, the moment it all changed.

“You reached the bridge didn’t you?” Scott asked when Theo didn’t start talking again. The chimera could only nod at that.

“I know that’s where Tara died… I just don’t understand how it ended up with you two fighting the alpha.” The boy continued softly, as if he was concerned that Theo wouldn’t be able to give him the information he needed. Which wasn’t that crazy considering how he was struggling to get the words out.

“I… When I saw the bridge… It’s my fault what happened. I just couldn’t… I could see her standing there, it was almost like seeing… Tara on the bridge and… I froze. Liam had to drag me away and that’s when the wolf noticed us. Then well the rest is just as you can imagine. She engaged us, we fought back, tried to not injure her too much, just holding her off until you showed up. But then she… She threw Liam on the ground and he must have hit his head pretty hard cause he was almost unconscious, and she was about to rip his throat out so I just… acted. I couldn’t let her…” the kill him was left unsaid, both boys aware of it despite it not being said out loud. “But you saw that. So yeah. Liam almost died because of me.” He let out in a shaky breath. The cold harsh truth was out. His responsibility in the night’s event. What had almost transpired… There was no going back now, he could probably kiss goodbye to his freedom.

Scott let out a long sigh, rubbing his hand over his face before addressing Theo’s confession. “We all have places like that. Mine is where Allison… Where she died. It’s not your fault Theo. It’s just… the fault of having seen things that most people couldn’t even imagine. Blame it on the downfall of being supernatural, hell blame it on the Dread Doctors but not on you. In the end Liam’s alive because you saved him and that’s what matters.”

Theo couldn’t help but feel like there was something was off about Scott, about his reaction. Almost as if… he expected every word Theo just uttered? “You’re not surprised. You knew already.”

“Liam might have called… You kinda scared him. He told me what happened, wanted to make sure I’d do the right thing.” Liam. Theo smiled softly at that, of course the beta with his bleeding heart wanted to insure his safety even after Theo endangered him. That’s who he was, who Theo loved more than anything.

“Of course he did… I might have saved him but I’m still the one who put him in danger in the first place. No matter if I wasn’t at fault. It’s still my actions that brought this on him. But endangering Liam is only part of the problem… The real one is who I killed and what it did to me isn’t it?” Theo fired back quickly. He was getting restless and talking about his dead sister never put him at ease, he needed to rip the Band-Aid off, have the conversation they were meant to have so that he could get out of there, preferably before Melissa got home, the nurse would most likely not let him go so easily. Not go over the why and what if and try to argue who was to blame for it.

“She was an alpha. Which makes you one too now.” Scott simply stated, heartbeat strong and calm, not a hint of fear, worry or mistrust in his scent. Theo was surprised at that. Either Scott had already everything set in motion and was holding a tight reign on his emotion to not alert Theo or… A much more terrifying option. Scott actually wasn’t that concerned about his newfound status.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything, I’ve thought this through, probably came to the same conclusion as you.” Theo said while giving an insistent look to the bag sitting between them.

“So you planned to leave? You don’t have to go you know.”

“Come on Scott, we both know I do. I’m an alpha now. Me and power don’t go well together. And if you’re not going to lock me up somewhere I have to go. Get as far away from Beacon Hills as I can before someone ends up dead because of me. It’s only a matter of time before that happens and it doesn’t seems like you’re about to pull the sword through the ground or throw me in Eichen so…”

“Theo…” Scott said, hesitantly before the chimera interrupted him.

“You know I’m right.”

“You’re wrong. You’ve changed, you’re not the same guy that tried to kill me. You really think that if you hadn’t people would have forgiven you? That I’d let you stay with my mom? You want to leave fine. Leave. But know that if you do it’s on you, no one is making you. You’re the one abandoning people. And that they might not forgive. No one will care that you’re suddenly an alpha. You weren’t part of the pack before, this won’t change a thing. Beacon Hills is used to having more than one alpha. Plus it’s not like I’m going to be around most of the time.” The chimera had not been expecting that. And yet… Every word was true, Scott meant it, believe it, his heartbeat was the only proof Theo needed to be sure. He wasn’t sure why Scott was okay with him staying in Beacon Hills but… He couldn’t go. Not when he didn’t have to, even if it was only until Scott regained his common sense. Beacon Hills was his home and he never wanted to leave his Sunshine behind.

“Are you really sure you want me in this town?”

“Yes. I know I can trust you to look after everyone. There is actually no one I trust more than you to keep Liam safe, as well as Mason and Corey.” Once again, heartbeat as steady as it could be. In that moment all Theo could feel was relief at the certitude that he would get to see Liam again. But even if he stayed in Beacon Hills he still had to get out of the house. No matter what he couldn’t stay in another alpha’s home.

“Fine. I’ll stay in Beacon Hills then.” Theo said before grabbing his back again, getting out of the room before Scott could understand what was going on. He directed himself toward the front door but it opened before he could even reach the bottom of the stairs, he could hear Scott calling his name behind him but all he could focus on was Melissa, still in scrubs, shock on her face at the picture of Theo ready to leave and Scott behind him.

“What the hell is going on?”

Shit. He was not ready for this, he had enough painful conversations for one day, how was he supposed to tell the women that opened her house to him, offered a home and comfort that he just committed cold blooder murder and was now an alpha that could go on a crazy power high at any given moment, destroying everyone she cared about in his wake? Thankfully he didn’t have to as Scott started to speak, the both of them still standing awkwardly in the middle of the staircase.

“Mom… Something happened.”

“Clearly!” The nurse said looking at them expectantly, waiting for a more in-depth explanation. “Both of you, in the living room now.” She continued before walking there herself, dropping her bag and keys on the dresser in the hallway as she walked past it. Theo could probably make a run for it, jump in his truck and drive off, find a place to hide until daylight while he figured what he would do next but that wouldn’t do anyone any good. Melissa deserved to hear the truth from him. And he couldn’t do that to her, he knew her well enough to know she would just worry about him and not sleep until she found him. He wasn’t about to take precious sleep away from her when she was just returning from a nightshift. Theo finally moved, reached the bottom of the stair, dropping his bag near the front door before joining the nurse in the living room, Scott following closely behind.

Once the two of them where seated on the sofa Theo finally started to talk and told Melissa about what went down, how him and Liam followed the alpha and how it ended up in a fight. He skipped over the why and the most gruesome details but he had still to confess, let her know he killed a woman, an alpha, his eyes glowing red showing her the repercussion. His attention was entirely focused on the nurse, trying to catch any shift in her chemosignals, trying to figure out how she will react to the news. To his surprise he couldn’t smell fear or concern or any of what he had expected. Just sadness and.. worry? But not about the situation. More about someone? Seriously, what was it with this pack and their inability to realize the danger they were in? Realize how much of a catastrophe this was? Why were they so unbothered? Didn’t they realize he could just go around and create his own pack? Very well go on a murder spree?

“So now Theo thinks he should leave. At least I managed to talk him out of leaving Beacon Hills?” Scott interjected before Theo could continue once Melissa had a few moments to wrap her mind around the news, preventing him from trying to explain why this was necessary. Why it was the best solution really.

“If you think I’m letting you leave just because you’re an alpha now you’ve got another thing coming.” The nurse exclaimed, looking him straight in the eyes with she had her mom face on.

“She is right, you don’t have to leave.” Scott added.

“There can’t be two alpha in one house! I can’t stay in your home Scott. Didn’t you have wolf school 101? First the animal inside you won’t appreciate at all it would be a constant fight as it’s going to see me as a threat, second… Do you realize the message it would sent to any pack if they heard about it?”

“Last I checked we were werewolf not actual wolves, the human part is in control so that’s bullshit and I just don’t care about what other pack thinks. They aren’t there, don’t know what we went through. Plus, I’ve told you I’m barely going to be there anyway.”

“It’s still your home. Your wolf’s territory.”

“It’s your home too you know dumbass, it’s fine really.”

“I..” Theo could feel his resistance wear down, he knows it’s a terrible idea, that it can’t logically work but… They don’t want him to go, so maybe, just maybe they could make it work.

“I’m curious. If we can’t convince you to stay what even is your plan? Going back to sleeping in your truck?” Melissa demanded. The moment she asked that Theo knew he was done for. She was going to point out every flaw in his poorly thought out plan and show him that staying was what’s best for him.

 “I… it’s fine I have some money saved up I’d have found a place and until then I’m sure I can crash somewhere that’s not the home of an alpha.”

“Theo, you have been working for not even two months, you only had one paycheck so far and I don’t think Mr Johnson pays above minimal wage, you don’t have nearly enough money saved to get your own place. This is completely stupid. You’re staying there. At least until you can safely secure your own place, like you always had planned when you moved in. And I’m not taking no for an answer.” Melissa stated, the argument over before it had even properly begun.

“I just thought it would be best for everyone if I went away, make things easier.” Theo said, defeated. He had tried to avoiding causing more problems than necessary but it ended up backfiring as both Scott and Melissa had to talk him out of it when they could have all been resting and putting this nightmare of a day behind them.

“I know and you’re an idiot, now get back upstairs, unpack that bag and get some rest okay?” The nurse said before patting his cheek gently, the small gesture providing more comfort than he could explain, leaving him to still feel the warmth of the touch long after Melissa’s hand was gone.

Theo nodded, there was no arguing with her and to be honest he was just relieved he didn’t have to leave. Glad to still have a home. He rose from the couch, ready to head up upstairs, Scott in tow once more. The other alpha grabbed his bag in front of the door before he could, showing with that gesture that Theo was still welcome there. And probably making sure he wasn’t going to attempt to run away.

“I wasn’t going to leave. I couldn’t do that to your mom. Not after she made it clear she didn’t want me to go.”

“Just making sure… She cares about you okay? And so does a lot of other people. What happened tonight don’t change that.” Scott answered before walking up the stairs and making his way to the chimera’s room, putting the bag back on the middle of the bed before turning around, facing Theo.

 “Hey if you’re worried about the sheriff… Don’t be. I told him what happened, he doesn’t like that there is a new body to cover up but he won’t come after you. You were saving Liam and he understands that. The alpha was too far gone anyway. As far as he is concerned it was self-defense.”

“It’s good to know that I won’t wake up to him knocking on the door, handcuffs ready.” Theo attempted to joke before adding “Thanks. For taking a chance on me, again. And not kicking me out.” Scott nodded at that before disappearing through the door, joining his mother downstairs.

He might not face consequences for the murder he committed but there was still one blatant problem he had to face. He was an alpha now and he had no idea what to do with that. Or how he was supposed to act. All he knew is that he didn’t want this power. This responsibility. Not anymore.

As Scott exited the room Theo opened the bag and started emptying it, filling his closet once more. This reminded him of when he first moved in, just like back then he could hear Scott and Melissa talking in the kitchen. This time though he willingly tuned them out, deciding to not intrude even if every single fiber of his body was screaming at him not to. Years of spying on conversations to always be on top, always know everything he could, to learn anything he could to easily manipulate people just doesn’t go away so easily. It was a constant fight he was losing most of the time even if it had been proved useful.

After he finished putting everything back where it and belong, the task only taking him a few minutes, he put on sweatpants to be more comfortable since he wasn’t going anywhere anymore. He could hear the two other occupants getting up the stairs, Scott going straight to his room while Melissa stopped in front of his door, knocking lightly before entering. She was holding a cup of still steaming tea, jasmine by the scent, his favorite.

“I made you some tea” she said softly, extending the cup to him. He took it wordlessly, giving her a small smile, grateful for the familiar gesture, the gentle scent providing comfort he didn’t think he deserved.

“Thanks.” He said as he lets the warmth of the mug heat up his cold hands. The same hands that not so long ago was covered in blood, claws out, killing. And yet here they were looking completely normal, holding the cup tightly.

Melissa was looking at him, trying to figure out how he was doing, assessing his mental state like she probably did so often at the hospital when dealing with patient and their family, hesitating before opening her mouth. “Scott told me where it happened. That can’t have been easy.”

“The women… She was standing there and… I could almost see Tara instead. Looking just like what she had down there…” The words coming out of his mouth before he could really think them through. He hadn’t meant to tell anyone about that part but… This was Melissa, she knew all about his demon. She would understand without a doubt. The cup in his hand was all the proof he needed. Theo still couldn’t understand for the life of him what she saw in him, why she cared so much. All he knew is that she gave him a kind of love he hadn’t had in years and it meant the world to him. Moment like this reminded him of that, reminded him how he wasn’t alone. For what must be the hundredth time tonight he was lost in his mind again, only brought back to reality by the warm arms that were wrapped around him, hugging him gently yet still tightly. He let himself melt in the affectionate gesture, returning it as much as he could without spilling his tea.

“Tara can’t hurt you anymore. You’re alive and safe. It’s all going to be okay you’ll see.” she said before breaking the hug, patting his cheek gently as she was letting go of him before adding “Now drink your tea and get to bed. Try to get some sleep.”

“Fine.” Theo mumbled before adding “Thanks. For everything.”

“Night kiddo.” She said before kissing his forehead and leaving the room, going to bed herself leaving the chimera to repeat “Night” softly to an empty room, skin still tingling where her lips had touched him. He couldn’t even remember the last time anyone did that to him. Probably his mom before everything. 

Theo knew he would fall asleep focusing on her heartbeat. Reassuring himself that Tara couldn’t get to him anymore. Even if he had the feeling that if he had nightmares tonight it wouldn’t be about her. Ever since him and Melissa talked and developed the bond they had now when she learned the horror of his past he had been sleeping better when she was in the house, her presence being enough to chase the nightmares away, the only other person that had been able to do that was Liam as Theo learned during the war. He now usually only ever had them, at least the really bad ones, when she had nightshift. It ended up with him staying on the couch waiting for her to come home most often than not and when she did she would make him tea just like she did tonight and stay with him until the ghost of Tara was gone from his mind. They would either talk or watch something fun on Netflix depending on how Theo was feeling.

 

* * *

 

The chimera sat down on the bed, sipping on his tea mindlessly, letting the familiar taste sooth his mind, slowly calming down. He could finally start to feel the exhaustion reaching his body. The day had been draining to say the least, he wasn’t used to handle such extreme emotions. It still wasn’t over just yet though. If Liam had been worried enough to call Scott it probably meant the beta wouldn’t sleep until he heard from Theo himself. He needed to put the beta’s mind at ease before finally letting the day be over and falling asleep under the warm blanket laying on his bed. The chimera grabbed his phone and shot a text to the beta, making sure he was indeed still awake, there was no need to wake him up if he wasn’t.

_Theo: You still up?_

Not a second later his phone started to ring, displaying a ridiculous pic of the beta trying to fit way too much whipped cream in his mouth, curtesy of one of their game night where Liam had craved it so of course Theo had gone and got him a can from the nearest store only to be almost maimed as Liam jumped on it as soon as he made it into the house. At least that answered his question about the beta being still awake. He slid to answer, whispering in the phone a small hey. He fully expected for Liam to explode with questions without him having the chance to explain anything.

“What happened? What did Scott say? Wha”

“Calm down.” Theo interrupted the beta, deciding against letting him let out his never ending flow of questions. “Give me a chance to answer okay?”

“Sorry.” The beta mumbled sheepishly. “It’s just… Well you kinda made it sounds like goodbye when you left my house and I was worried, I called Scott I wanted to come but he told me to stay home, that he would talk to you but…”

“I’m okay, I’m not leaving.” Not for a lack of trying and he still wasn’t convinced that him staying was a good idea. But Liam didn’t need to know that. He could hear Liam let out a relieved breath. He deserved the truth though, that he was the one who wanted to leave. This won’t be easy to say. “Scott… He convinced me to stay.” Silence. Of course, Liam didn’t know what to say to that, he was willing to bet that if the beta was standing in front of him he could smell the hurt coming off him. Because his friend wanted to leave without saying anything. Theo was a shitty friend like that and couldn’t comprehend for the life of him what he did to deserve being friends with the ray of sunshine that was Liam Dunbar.

“I’m glad he did. You belong here Theo. I need you here.” Liam finally whispered. “I would have chased you around and drag you back here myself otherwise anyway.” The beta attempted to joke, trying to lighten the mood. Theo smiled softly at that, picturing the wolf refusing to move until Theo agreed to do what he wanted, that sounded like Liam he was stubborn enough after all.

“I believe you.”

“Are you… Okay though?”

He wasn’t, not by a long shot, his mind was still haunting him, telling him on repeated how he should never have power. But Liam didn’t need to know that. “I will be once I got a chance to sleep.”

“Okay…” Theo could hear that judging by Liam’s tone he wasn’t entirely convinced. “So uh… Considering I can’t lie for shit and Corey will be there at practice tomorrow and Mason will probably be watching is it okay if I tell them? I know we said we would leave them out of this cause tonight was their date night but they’re going to be pissed enough as it is so the sooner the better?”

Yet another conversation he wasn’t looking forward to. Letting Liam deal with it seemed like the easy way out, hiding behind him in way but… Theo was tired truly, he couldn’t even picture having to explaining what happened one more time to people he cared about. Twice was enough, sure it wouldn’t be as hard as it had been with Scott and Melissa but he still didn’t want to do it again. And maybe Liam knew that and that’s why he was offering. It wouldn’t surprise him. “Yeah sure. Go ahead, I guess that’s not exactly the kind of things you announce through a text.”

‘Not really no.” The beta answered. “I should probably go to bed now… Let you get some sleep and all…” The beta added, as if he didn’t really want to hang up, want to leave Theo in silence again, with his thoughts as his only company.

“You should. Coach will kill you if you don’t have the energy to play.”

“By making me run laps until I die.” Liam joked, “Theo? I’m really happy you’re not going anywhere.” The beta murmured then, much more serious, his voice carrying how much he meant those words and the emotions behind them.

“I’m happy too.” He whispered so softly he wasn’t sure Liam could even hear him through the phone. “Night Liam.” He waited for Liam echo his goodnight before pressing the end call button. That had been… Easier than he had expected in a way, the magic of the beta, he always made things easier, the perks of being his Sunshine if he had to guess. Always there to bring some much needed light in his life.

The chimera grabbed the cup he had abandoned during the phone call and finally went to lay under the blankets. He probably should brush his teeth once his tea was finished but he just couldn’t be bothered to care in that moment. He wanted to put this hell of a day behind him and just finally sleep it off. His mind has other plans though. As he sipped away the now lukewarm liquid his thoughts brought him to all the possible reactions Mason and Corey will have to his newfound power. Mason was the one he was least worried about, he would probably be wary and rightfully so. But Liam was his best friend and the chimera knew the human would give him a shot even if it just was for the beta. Even if he shouldn’t. Plus Mason was smart, he was the one that was most likely to understand the necessity of murder sometimes and even if he reached the same conclusion Theo did, that the chimera was responsible for Liam’s near death experience, he would be okay with a dead body not being Liam’s. But the killing had never been the issue. It’s the consequence that came with it.

Corey though… That was trickier. Sure they were friends now but… The other chimera experienced first end Theo being an alpha, knew better than anyone what power, being in charge did to him. How unfit he was to be in this position. There was no telling how he will react. Maybe he will be okay with it, give him yet another chance. Maybe they won’t even be friends anymore once he knows because all he will see is who he was before being tortured by his sister in the ground like he deserved.  See Theo as he was, having finally gotten the power he had fought so hard for in the past. Bringing back memories of what he put Corey through, who he murdered. His packmates. Sure, they weren’t the closest of pack but still it meant something. He might have brought Corey back to life, but he also put him through so much pain. Fear. Manipulation.

As unrealistic as it would sound to most he was scared. Of what would happen, the possibility of losing his friends. He didn’t want to go back to being alone even if it was inevitable with his alpha status now. He just hoped he could ease into it slowly if he couldn’t find a way around it. Losing the people he had grown to call his friends would suck. There was no avoiding it though, or miraculously fixing it. He will have to face his two friends the next day eventually. Even if he couldn’t really help it there was no point in driving himself crazy with what ifs and potential scenarios.

Theo took a deep breath, trying to block out his thoughts, willing his senses on focusing on one thing only: Melissa’s steady heartbeat. The nurse was fast asleep in her bedroom and the sound that had helped him through his nightmares as of late finally allowed him to calm his spiraling thoughts down. The chimera closed his eyes and focused even harder letting the sound lull him to sleep slowly as his breathing evened out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed :D  
> Since i know it can be hard to keep track of fics and what happened in them especially when they have slow updates i was thinking that i could maybe add a summary of what happened previously at the beginning of the chapter/in the chapter/as a chapter summary for future chapters. So if that's something you would be interested in please let me know :)


	4. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary so far: Theo killed a rogue alpha to save Liam and is now an alpha himself and struggling with it because he is terrified of the power he had now and going back to who he was before being in the ground. He tried to leave but Melissa and Scott convinced him to stay and now Theo is worried about facing his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a wild new chapter that only took.. way too long sorry about that! Life happened I found a job and had to move and other stuff as well so not much time to write but I finally managed to sit done and make it happen so I hope you enjoy!  
> Let me know if you spot any mistakes!

Theo was awoken by his alarm the next morning, letting him know that he had approximately 20 minutes to get out of the house if he didn’t want to be late for work. Usually the alarm just served as a reminder that it was nearly time to leave as he was already up, even without nightmares he never slept for long due to his years with the Dread Doctors. It wasn’t like he had a comfortable home to be able to sleep in, but maybe this will change eventually. The event of the previous day had apparently drained him enough so that he didn’t woke up. His still sleep muddled brain was trying to process the unusual wake up call, hand grasping for his phone to shut off the shrilling sound. Just for a moment reality hadn’t caught up with him yet and everything was the same as the previous morning. He was just starting yet another day, eyes still glowing bright golden. He wished this moment could have lasted forever but soon reality caught up to him and he was reminded of what he had become.

An alpha. What was he supposed to do now? There was too much at stake he couldn’t risk messing up. And he needed to face Corey…. At least he won’t have to tell his former beta what he had become. He probably had been the sources of nightmares back then all he could hope is that he wouldn’t be now. But… that wasn’t very likely. The simple fact that he was an alpha again, a more real one this time with the eyes to match and not just a title he gave himself, would bring memories back. Memories the other chimera most likely never wanted to remember.

He managed to make himself leave his bed before his mind started spiraling even deeper, grabbing the empty mug on the nightstand and getting downstairs, hoping that no one was there, not really feeling like facing another human being just yet especially not one he cared about after all that happened. He needed a time out, to rebuild his wall and push away all the feelings he wished to ignore. Luckily Melissa was still asleep, heartbeat calm and steady, probably the reason why he hadn’t woken up earlier, and Scott had left already. Probably to deal with the aftermath with the sheriff. He still wasn’t completely convinced that he wouldn’t show up one of these days and arrest him if he was being honest. After washing his mug he went back upstairs, getting ready in a few minutes before finally grabbing an apple for breakfast, hearing Melissa’s voice in his head, telling him he needed to eat properly. He left with two minutes to spare and made it just in time.

All morning Theo had been anxiously waiting for the moment Corey will walk in the store and clock in for his shift, the moment that will tell him if he had lost his friend or not. The other chimera should be there any minute now and there was a part of Theo that just wanted to get up and run away, never face him, avoid the problem. But he knows he could never do that, Corey deserved more than this and he couldn’t leave not after what Melissa said to him the previous night. So he was stuck spiraling in his own mind until the bell finally chimney in and the invisible boy walked in. Theo couldn’t help it, his defense mechanism kicked in and he put on the mask he wore so well for all those years, letting his instinct protect feelings he never thought he could have. He also could tell the moment he met Corey’s eyes that it had been a mistake. The other boy was seeing the old Theo right in front of him, with the power he had so desperately craved for so long. Cocky smirk and cold calculating eyes, confidence he didn’t feel coming out of him.

The chimera only gave him a cold nod when he passed him before disappearing in the back as Theo dropped the act only reappearing half an hour later, obviously having been trying his hardest to avoid Theo as much as he could. He could smell Corey’s nervousness and unease from there. He made his friend feel like that.  Because that’s who power made him, someone you can’t be comfortable around. Not that any of them ever should feel that way around him anyway. He did the sensible thing to do for once and gave the other boy all the space he possible could with them sharing a workplace, making sure to always be as far away from him as possible. Which Corey seems to be grateful for if his scent was any indication. Usually work flee by on Saturday afternoons, Mason and Liam coming in more often than not to keep them company, pretending to browse through records if Mr Johnson showed up before their shift was over. They usually went to Liam or Mason’s house after to play video games and enjoy their Saturday night filled with junk food and laughter.

But today was different, every second was agonizingly slow, nothing to distract them from the elephant in the room, Mason and Liam suspiciously not showing up as if they were giving the two friends space to talk. Which was pointless if you asked him considering they had yet to say a word to each other. It stayed that way until Theo just couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to rip the ban aid off, needed to watch his friendship with Corey go up in flames if he had to but the not knowing was the worst part. He would rather know it was all over than spend another hour pretending they don’t see each other. He finally went to Corey, looking him in the eyes before starting to talk after hours of silence.

“This can’t go on. We need to talk. I’m…” this will be the first time he will say it out loud since the previous night, saying it to someone else than Liam or Scott and not in the middle of a fight. He couldn’t help the words dying in his throat, needing to take a deep breathe before finally continuing. ‘I’m an alpha now and it’s bothering you. As it should. You don’t ever have to be okay with it but… we are… at least were friends. And I get if that’s no longer the case. I just… need to know where we stand.”

“What do you want me to say Theo. You and power? I t just doesn’t end well. For anyone. I know that more than anyone else here. I know we talked about this and I was okay, you were different, and I could see that… But now… I know you just got what you wanted back then and… it’s not that simple is it? You can’t tell me that there isn’t a part of you that doesn’t want everything you wanted then when it’s so close to your reach right now. I wish I could do like everyone else and look past it but… I can’t I’m sorry.”

Theo wished he could promise Corey he would never spiral out of control, never hurt or kill anyone for power ever again but he knew that’s not something he could do, the chameleon was right. Temptation was there in some part of him, it might not be the most prominent but it was there. There was this voice inside his brain whispering he could just get everything he wanted now, it might be dulled and covered by his fear of power, but it still remained.

“You’re right. But I don’t want to go back to who I was. That’s the difference. I want to fight the darkness inside me I just don’t know if I can.” Theo said while taking a step toward the other boy, causing him to take a step back. The heart he shouldn’t have broke a little right there. He had been scared that Corey would reject him but… Witnessing it hurt more than he thought it would. It wasn’t just rejection, instinctively or not Corey was afraid of him right now because all he could see was Theo with power. Him killing their packmates was probably what was running through his mind. Once again he killed for power, even if it had been a reflex more than anything else this time, even if it had been to save Liam. It showed he didn’t change that much after all. The result was the same. A dead body and power flowing through him.

“I believe you but I’m sorry. I can’t. I just need some time okay? To see you’re still you. Well the new and improved version of you and that you just won’t go back to who you were now that you have this power inside you.”

“I understand that. And if there is anything you want to know or want me to do to show you I’m still the same guy you were friend with I’ll do it I just don’t know how long I’ll be that Theo cause you’re right even if you’re the only one that seems to be able to see that power is dangerous with me so stay on your guard and don’t trust me. If I go back to who I was you’ll be the first one to see it and you will have to convince everyone else to put me down. They’ll try to save me but that won’t happen. Make them stop me.”

“That’s a good start. I hope it won’t come to that though.” The chimera answered, shooting a small smile toward Theo. Apparently admitting he was award of how dangerous this could be had been the right move. Maybe there was hope after all. “How powerful are you exactly anyway?” Corey asked, curiosity finally letting itself show. If Theo was being honest with himself he too wondered about that and was dying to try and figure out his new limits but he was too scared of what just a taste of that power could do to him.

“I… don’t really know. I can feel I’m stronger but I’m still a chimera so if I had to guess I’d say slightly above a regular werewolf but under an alpha.”

“What about the other alpha stuff, do you think you can do any of it?”

“I’m not sure. Probably not. I think I’m still the same and I’m just a chimera with all the perks that comes with it but without the lessen strength and healing. And no more golden eyes.”

Theo could feel Corey hesitate, could see he wanted to ask his next question, he just wasn’t so sure about it, his chemosignals only telling Theo the other chimera was apprehensive of the answer he might get. He shot him a look that the chameleon understood immediately, the ‘just ask’ clear on the alpha’s face, and finally opened his mouth. “What about turning people?”

That was a very good question. One Theo didn’t have a real answer to.

“I don’t know. I don’t think we can know for sure without me biting someone. I’d say no. after all I was engineered in a lab the werewolf gene wasn’t passed to me so I shouldn’t be able to pass it to anyone but… Who knows? I’m not planning on turning anyone ever though. Not if I can help it.”

“You’re not? I would have thought you would have jumped on the opportunity to have finally a real pack.”

“We both know I can’t be an alpha. I might have red eyes and power in me giving me the status but it doesn’t mean I have to be anyone else’s alpha. I won’t be. Not if I have anything to say about it. Not for as long as I am not on a power spiral.”

“But that would mean…”

“Yeah.”

They both feel in silence after that, Theo letting the other boy digest all the information that was just given to him, letting his friend realize what Theo had implied. That he will be a lone wolf for the rest of his existence, destined to be alone, packless. Thank god for the coyote inside him otherwise he probably wouldn’t be able to survive that. At least that was the outcome he hoped for, the alternative would be so much worse.  Eventually Corey started to speak again.

“We’re still friends. Just so you know. We will be okay. Just give me some time okay?” The other boy said before shooting Theo another weak smile.

“Okay. That I can do. Thanks. For giving me yet another chance I know that can’t be easy.” Theo answered, giving his friend a grateful smile before going back to work in silence. Time. And space. That went unsaid but it was obvious. Theo will have to talk with Mr Johnson to move some of his shifts, make sure him and Corey didn’t have many in common. And for the rest… He will just avoid Saturday nights with everyone. For a while. A long while. He didn’t deserve to be around any of them anyway. Not as long as he had this power inside of him, giving him the means to kill without warning even more efficiently than before. He needed to distance himself from everyone. Especially Liam. They weren’t safe around him. He wasn’t safe to be around. He was better on his own anyway. And might as well get used to what the rest of his life will be like as soon as possible. It will only hurt more in the future anyway if he had more memories to hold onto.

All he wanted was to see his Sunshine smile and laugh but this wasn’t something he should see ever again. Not anymore. Not as long as his eyes glowed red. He wouldn’t be able to take it if he hurt Liam in any way. He couldn’t risk it. The beta was too precious to him. The most precious thing in the world and he would protect him against anything. Even himself. Especially himself. He can’t be around Liam because he loves him and the last thing he wanted was for him to fall victim of his power. To end up dead because that’s how it ends with him and power. That’s how it starts too. Always with dead bodies littering the floor and blood dripping down his claws.

He didn’t used to care before but he does now and that alone scares him. He feels trapped it’s like the bloodshed is unavoidable, the pain and death that will inevitably come but he also knows parts of himself changed forever and the aftermath it would have on him wouldn’t be something he could handle. Not without running away. But if it came to that he doubted anyone would care then if he was gone or maybe they would but only because they would have to chase after him to put him down.

The answer was easy after all. There was one way to fix everything. To show his friends he would never go back to who he was. To still have friends, to not have to lose them slowly but surely. He had to get rid of the power inside him. If he wasn’t an alpha anymore everything could go back to how it was before the previous night. All he had to do was figure out a way to get rid of that extra spark of power inside him, without dying. Or losing his original power. And he knew just where to go for that. After all who knew more about power and manipulating it, creating it, stealing it than the people who created him?

He had to go back, to their lair, where everything was hopefully still left standing. There has to be a book somewhere in there with something, anything in it that could help. And if not… There was always one way for sure to get rid of it. He just needed to figure out who from the pack has Belasko’s claws and someone willing to get some extra power. Which shouldn’t be too hard to find. Though… things might just be more complicated than anticipated. Could he even give his power to someone who wasn’t a chimera? Would they become an alpha? Would it even work? The power had to be lessened during the transfer and would any wolf be willing to accept some extra power but not enough to fully be an alpha? Their alpha would notice and they would get kicked out of their pack and no wolf wanted that. And he also didn’t want to burden another person with a packless life. The only viable alternative would be transferring his power to another chimera. And there was only one left alive as far as he knew. At least in California. Who knew what had happened to all the others the Dread Doctors had left in their wake through the years.

Who knew if Corey would even be willing to accept his power. That’s why he needed another way. A way that didn’t involve anyone else. Or at least find something that could help him understand what were to happen if he used Belasko’s claws. They take power. But would they only take the extra spark? Or everything? Could they even take the chimera in him considering it wasn’t real power, only scientifically engineered enhancement made to look like actual supernatural power? But then again the claws were also a product of the doctors. Made in a lab just like him. There was so many questions and all he could hope for was that he could find answers even if it wasn’t very likely. After all for them to have answer that would have to mean that they had a chimera be an alpha before and he would remember that, knew he would have not rested until he too had the same power. Unless it was before his time with them but they had told him multiple time he was the first chimera that they considered as not a complete failure. The first to survive the procedure even if they hadn’t known why.

He was brought back to reality by the buzzing in his pocket signaling an incoming text. A quick glance told him it was from the beta his heart couldn’t help but love, asking if he was still coming over later. He hesitated then, not knowing what to answer. He could just throw Corey under the bus, tell Liam the other chimera needed time and it was for the best if Theo wasn’t around for a while. This would save him a lot of questions and trouble, the beta would understand. But he would also bother Corey about it and the chameleon deserved to at least be left alone and given the time he needed to come to terms with Theo’s new status. He eventually settled on telling Liam he couldn’t make it. Keeping it vague, hoping the beta would just take it as him having to deal with what happened and not ask questions. He knew he wasn’t that lucky when his phone displayed Liam’s name announcing an incoming call.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” No hello, straight to the point. So Liam didn’t like his text much. He sighed before answering. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, it will probably build the foundation of him slowly fading away from the beta’s life.

“Yeah. I’m not coming.”

“But I talked to Scott he said there wasn’t anything else to take care of and don’t bother lying saying you’re staying with Melissa cause I know her and Scott are going out tonight while he is still in town.”

Well his first plan was a no go then. “I wasn’t going to lie.” He lied before continuing, settling for something close enough to truth yet keeping Corey out of it. “I’m just… I need to be alone for a while okay? It’s a lot. I need time to think, I really don’t feel up to playing video games all night.” Theo could literally see Liam giving his phone a dubious look through the tone of the beta’s answer.

“Really? You’re sure you’re not just planning to run away? Because if you do, I swear I’ll drag you back myself.”

“I know Liam, and I appreciate it. I’m not going anywhere. It’s just a lot. Last night… I need time to process. You know I’m not much of a people person.”

“Promise you’re not avoiding Mason and Corey?” A part of him ached at the fact that Liam couldn’t even imagine that Theo might be avoiding him.

“I’m not.” He couldn’t bring himself to add an ‘I promise’ knowing full well that it would be a lie. He had no problem lying, making empty promises on the other hand… At least to his Sunshine. Who know why that bothered him when so many other things didn’t.

“Good. Cause I need you. I know it’s selfish but you’re my anchor and it’s easier when you’re around.” The beta admitted softly in the phone, the words probably only getting pass his lips because he didn’t have Theo in front of him. He could see Liam biting his lips at the admission, a slight blush probably creeping on his cheeks. How could Theo be his anchor thought? How could he be such an important part of Liam’s life when he could spiral out of control at any moment? He was dangerous on his own but the responsibility he had toward Liam made this much bigger than himself and the lives he might end. He couldn’t be an anchor for as long as he was an alpha. The power needed to be gone.

“I promise you I’ll do my best to be back to my usual self in no time.” The truth behind those words much more literal than Liam knew.

“Good.”

“Now can I get back to work?”

“Oh… Yes. Sorry I bothered you.” Theo waited before hanging up, wanting to bask in hearing Liam’s calm breathing, letting it surround him before he would be deprived of it for months. “Theo? I’m gonna miss you tonight.” The beta added before hanging up abruptly causing Theo to freeze. He hadn’t expected that. At all. Liam was going to miss him. Part of him was ecstatic, his Sunshine cared, wanted him around. The other part though was terrified because it meant Liam was too close, though deep down he knew that the moment he became the beta’s anchor, it was too dangerous. He never understood how Liam couldn’t see that, how he could have enough trust in Theo to be anchored by him.

A few hours later, when their shift was close to an end the chimera heard the now familiar engine of Mason’s car park in front of the store, the human boy coming to pick his boyfriend up, no doubt to go to Liam’s. He couldn’t deny the part of him that craved to just go with them, pretend like nothing had happened, like everything was just the same as last Saturday with them playing video games until dawn, only sleeping when they fell from exhaustion. But it just wouldn’t be right. Mason made it inside the shop, greeting his boyfriend with a kiss before asking Corey if he was ready only for the chameleon to disappear in the back, rushing to get his stuff, their discussions having seemingly made him lose track of time. Theo was surprised though that instead of just waiting there he turned toward Theo, walking without hesitation only stopping once they were face to face.

“Hey.”

“Hi Mason. Need anything?”

“No. I just… wanted to check up on you. Liam seemed pretty worried and… I know Corey isn’t exactly thrilled with you right now so… I figured you could use knowing you still have a friend that isn’t the guy who you’re the anchor of.”

Uh. Theo had expected Mason to be okay with him being an alpha after Liam showed he didn’t care, he just hasn’t been expecting him to reach out like that to let him know.

“Thanks.” The chimera said, nodding his head in acknowledgement, letting the human know he understood and appreciated the gesture. “Don’t let Liam try to convince Corey he should let it go will you? He deserves to come to terms with this on his own time.”

“Will do. And Theo? Thanks. For saving my best friend.” The door leading to the back of the store opened again revealing Corey holding his backpack, ready to go. Mason squeezed Theo’s shoulder before walking back to his boyfriend, grabbing the chimera’s hand only turning back to throw a “Bye” before exiting the store, Corey right beside him. Theo was ready to go back to the pile of records he was supposed to sort through before leaving the store too. But he couldn’t help himself, he had to watch the couple go, feeling like he was watching the friendship between the three of them disappear with them.

He was glad he did though otherwise he would have missed Corey turning back, their eyes meeting and the other chimera giving him yet another small smile accompanied by an awkward wave of his hand. That was the hope he needed to hold on to. He could get it all back once his eyes will no longer be red. Not even 20 minutes later he was in his truck, driving to the house he got to call home to pick up an empty duffel bag and grab something to eat, getting ready for his exploration of the night. Who knows what kind of demons being near what remains from the Dread  Doctors will bring back.

 

* * *

 

Theo left Liam’s string of texts trying to convince him to still come since they hanged up earlier unanswered, ignoring the guilt over freezing the beta out, and for the first time in weeks he spent his Saturday night alone, letting Melissa think he was with Liam, Mason and Corey as usual when instead he was in the woods, walking to the doctor’s latest lair. Once he reached the place he presumed hadn’t been visited by anyone since the Ghost Riders it didn’t take him long to figure out he wouldn’t find what he was looking for there.

On quick sweep told him all he needed to know. When the Dread Doctors moved from the sewer they only took the necessary for the beast and the Löwenmensch with them, they had left all the books and research behind, being so close to the result they wanted and probably thinking they would have the time to go back and get everything they still needed once they goal was reached. Not foreseeing their own demises at the hand of the creature they worked so hard to bring back for so long. Back to the sewer it was then. He hadn’t been back to that lair since… He went to the ground. All he hoped was that it wouldn’t affect him too much.

It didn’t take him long to go back to his truck and drive to the entrance he knew was the closest to the abandoned lair. The place he spent so much time in. Plotting. For the exact same thing he now has. Who know what going back there would do to him? Maybe just standing there, with what he had craved, will be enough to turn him back into who he was. Theo knew it was only a matter of time. Inevitably being in possession of power he had no business having will bring his old self back. The monster within him, the one that craved this more than life, the one that watched his sister die, killed his own pack will come out and take over him once more.

And that was why he needed the power gone. He wasn’t sure he could face Liam once he was back to his old self, watch the beta put him back where he belonged. He couldn’t help but wonder if it would happen at the same place as the last time. The spot he was standing on right now. He could still remember the ground opening beneath his feet. And the ground opening again later, him emerging and seeing his Sunshine, his savior. The first person to bring light in his life. The one that ripped him away from his sister’s claws.

That was the moment when everything changed for him. Sure he didn’t understood it right away but in that moment Liam became his Sunshine. The light in the darkness, showing him the path toward being better, little by little, guiding him, inspiring him to not go back to the darkness. To do good in his own way. To help the pack. Save him. Always save him from the world and himself. And fall in love with him, so easily like it was always meant to be, inevitable. He was going to miss the beta more than anything in the world. He couldn’t be around him right now, he was too dangerous and that was why he needed this power gone.

Even if Liam will never return his feelings, they could be friends and that was enough for him. He just wanted the werewolf in his live, needed his Sunshine fighting the darkness inside of him without even realizing. And fighting that darkness without Liam… It will be hard. He just hoped he could do it long enough until he found a solution. Right now it felt like he was on the edge of a cliff like he either could find a way to reverse everything by stepping back or he will lose everything he cares about while falling down the precipice. The question was how far was he willing to go to be able to take that step back.

Theo kept going until he was facing the now not so secret entrance to the lair. After that it was just searching, pilling up books, papers and notebooks filled with notes written in such a terrible handwriting that deciphering it will be an exploit on its own. Anything that looked like it could contain useful information really. There was a surprising amount of material even if most of it was useless for his current predicament. But it could be useful for something else, probably in the future when the pack will have to face yet another evil. He should tell Deaton maybe or Mason to go there and get it all out. It couldn’t hurt to store the book somewhere with less humidity in the air. The not so perks of having a lair in the sewer: it wasn’t very book friendly. Or maybe not. Maybe he could use all of that to bargain for Belasko’s claws location. He needed them as backup and needed to figure out where exactly they were. And needed to do so without arising suspicions. The pack wouldn’t be stupid enough to let him around them again. At least he sincerely hoped they were smarter than that otherwise they were just doomed.

It took him the better part of 4 hours but he eventually sorted through all the material scattered around the abandoned lair. Surprisingly he found way more than he had expected, now all there was left was to hope he could find anything remotely useful in all of that. He started to put everything he wanted to take back in the duffel back he had the foresight to bring with him and left soon after not wanting to spend more time than necessary in that dreaded place, letting a breath out when he was back to his truck. Just being where he used to be while chasing power had not been enough to pull him back and he was grateful for that.

He might not feel any urges yet but he knew it would come eventually, especially once he will start to really notice the difference. It’s probably going to require a fight but once he will see how much stronger he had become… There probably won’t be any going back, the monster will take over and he will go on a quest for power once more, what he has never being enough. It was who he is, who he was raised to be and eventually his true nature will catch up to him, not matter how good he wants to be. Especially if there was no sunshine around him to remind him why he was fighting against his very nature so hard. It was probably unfair of him to put so much on Liam but… He was messed up, always will be and he needed something to make him want to change. Liam was that something. Liam inspired him. Not being around him will make this harder. He not only needed to get rid of the power but he needed to get rid of it fast.

 

* * *

 

Scott left, going back for Davies on Sunday after Theo had reassured him once more that he wouldn’t leave. The chimera spent the following week slowly interacting less and less with everyone, hoping they wouldn’t notice him pulling back while being too busy with their own life. He knew that if he had just cut them off they would have come running, those idiots way too willing to trust him despite everything and as long as the power was still inside him he couldn’t afford being around anyone. He needed to keep the contact to a minimum, making sure he couldn’t hurt anyone. He spent all the time he could pouring his energy into deciphering the doctors scrambled handwriting, trying to find anything that could help but there was nothing yet. Nothing about chimeras becoming alphas not even theories.

He did find notes about Belasko though and his claws, it looks like he was right. He would need a chimera to get rid of his power that way. The claws couldn’t absorb a power lesser than their owner’s and it would take it all away. Not just the extra spark. Everything. It just takes all the power it can. If it came down to it… Would he be willing to give up what he had been for years? He wondered what state he would be left in. Would the asthma come back? And what of his heart? Well… the one he stole, the one that wasn’t really his. Would his body finally reject it? He really wasn’t sure what would happen but if it came down to it. If… it was that or stay an alpha forever and ending up hurting the people he cared about… He really wished he could be sure he would be able to go through with it but if he was being honest… He wasn’t. He would give up everything to save Liam but… That would be giving up such a huge part of himself. Would he even be himself without it?

Before Theo knew it, it was Saturday again and you would think than the first time being alone again would have been the hardest one but… He hadn’t expected it to hurt this much. At least last time he avoided his friend he had something else to do. This time he was just hiding in his room, staring at the ceiling, left to realize how alone he felt. He wondered how long it would take until Liam will stop inviting him over every Saturday night, until he will stop texting every day, checking on him. Until he will stop texting all together. Until he finally finds another anchor. One that isn’t a murderous monster. How long will it take for the people he got to call friends for a few weeks to forget about him. Forget he was ever more than an cold blooded killer. Soon enough he will be also able to get out of this house, though making Melissa let go of him would require much more careful work than with Liam. Her motherly instinct was simply too strong but even her will give up on him once he turns back into who he really is deep down no matter how much he tries to hide it. He just hoped that if he finally found a way to go back to who he was he could reverse the damage he had done.

The worst part though was easily how badly he missed his Sunshine, the blue of his eyes, the brightness of his smile. It felt like someone took all the air from his lung and wouldn’t let him inhale again. Felt like he was held underwater unable to break to the surface and breathe. And he knew Liam was probably suffering too. Not like him. Worse in a way. Theo was his anchor and he abandoned him. If Liam had an episode and hurt anyone it will be on him. That was the real struggle there, part of him just wanted to go back be selfish and just have everything he wanted and he had the perfect excuse right there. Being an anchor. But the other part of him knew it would be a mistake and it would just end with the blood of someone he cared about on his claws. There had been so many times where he almost picked up his phone and accepted Liam’s offer to come by.

But he never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that and will enjoy what comes next!  
> You might have noticed I added a chapter count, I worked on the plotting and finally figured that out, it might change a bit depending on how the chapters flows and if unexpected spiraling happen but 11 is the goal. Hopefully I'll be able to deliver the next one faster than this one!


	5. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary so far: Theo became an alpha saving Liam and is struggling with his new status. He wanted to leave but Scott and Melissa convinced him to stay. He is now trying to find a way to get ride of his alpha status and avoiding Liam, Mason and Corey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look I'm still alive! I had hoped that this chapter wouldn't take that long to put out... But alas!  
> I struggled a lot with it and I'm still not sure why. I'm still not entirely satisfied with it but I'm tired of looking at it so here it is! Hopefully the next one will happen faster.  
> I hope you enjoy!  
> Let me know if you spot any mistakes/inconsistency.

Another week passed by, Theo still avoiding everyone and bearing the weight of his newfound loneliness. His only company being the books he had read several times over already, each time hoping that somehow a magical answer he had missed before will appear. But it never did. It was his new normal and he was slowly getting used to it. At least until Wednesday night when Scott walked through the house bringing with him something that had completely escaped his mind. Thanksgiving. He truly didn’t know what to do. This could be the first holiday he wouldn’t spend alone in… years. But it was also a family holiday. Most likely a pack one too but he was neither family nor pack. And never will be. What was he supposed to do? Where was he supposed to go? Did they even celebrate Thanksgiving? Was Melissa’s family coming to town? If he remembered his research properly, back from when he first came back to town, she still had both of her parents and had two brother and a sister. And Melissa hadn’t mentioned anything about it, he didn’t remember hearing any phone call that could have given him information and he was pretty sure that if he had he would have remembered about the holiday.

He didn’t have to wait long to get an answer. He greeted Scott’s home, his chemosignals completely in control while he reassured the other alpha that everything was going great when Scott asked, eyes suspicious as he didn’t really seem to buy Theo’s answers. He wondered if Liam told his alpha about him basically ignoring everyone, barely answering texts, but he wasn’t about to ask. After that it didn’t take long for Melissa and him to start talking about the upcoming celebration, informing him that her parents and brothers and sister were coming to town for Thanksgiving and they wouldn’t have him not participating. It didn’t really surprise him that they figured he would want to disappear, it wasn’t like he had been discreet about how he didn’t fit in their life lately, even with Melissa. Sure she was having none of it but he couldn’t help but pull back, his instincts screaming at him that he shouldn’t be here more than ever. He was still grateful they had decided to include him like this, give him a chance at experiencing something he hadn’t in a long time.

The rest of the evening was spent mostly discussing technicalities and schedule, figuring out what was left to do to have everything done on time. Well it was mostly Scott and Melissa, Theo just observing, not having been to such a dinner in years. He couldn’t even remember anything useful from the ones of his childhood, after all as a kid he had been more preoccupied with playing with his cousins, trying to keep up with them the best he could with his asthma and failing heart. He remembers spending one of those in the hospital. And later on… Some years he wasn’t even aware that it was Thanksgivings if he wasn’t out in the world at that period of time. There had been periods where his only company was his mentors and they would teach him if he was lucky and experiment on him when he wasn’t. He still tried, enjoyed being part of the last minute planning. It gave him something he had never realized he had been missing. Made him felt like he belonged there in a way that only family holidays can give you with the repartition of cooking and food prepping tasks. Even if he knew that was a lie and could never really be true. It was still the first time he was going to sit at a table, witness a family sharing a turkey in a long time. He won’t just stroll by houses, watching and being reminded how he had no one, not anymore and only had himself to blame for that. He will get to sit at the table with the rest of them even though he didn’t deserve it.

Once all the details were sorted out Theo felt confident that he will get through this. Thanksgiving with the Delgados, he could do this. He will smile and nod, answer question politely, not mention anything about his past, murders or anything else really. Only sticking the “Theo lives with us because his family died” cover story that they all had agreed on. Out of the three of them he will probably be the more comfortable dancing around that stories, lies still coming up as easy as breathing for him. But then everything changed once more when the subject shifted to the pack Thanksgiving that would be held at the house later that night. He could absolutely not be there for that and even Scott and ignorance of pack politics, his bleeding heart too blinded by kindness and acceptance knew that as he didn’t offer Theo to stay. It didn’t take him long to excuse himself and retreat back to his room, letting the mother and son have some much needed alone time. The chimera sat on his bed, head resting against the wall, mind wandering to what tomorrow night will mean.

Everyone would come to the house. Mason and Corey… His friends that he had been avoiding. And more importantly. Liam. His Sunshine. The one he had been missing so much it was ridiculous. How come that just being near another human being, witnessing them smile could just mean so much? How could he feel so empty and lonely just by not seeing the beta? It was not something he had ever been confronted with, not something he had any answers for except that he just wanted this feeling to go away. It was a good motivation though, always there to remind him what he was aiming for. What he was working for. Not only save lives and let the power out of him but allowing him to return by his Sunshine side. To be able to feel whole again. Sadly that couldn’t happen just yet and he knew he couldn’t be anywhere near the house during the night. Liam would just demand explication Theo wasn’t ready to give him yet, maybe never will be. He needed to be gone the moment Scott and Melissa’s family will leave the house.

It didn’t take him long to have a plan ready. After all plotting was what he was good at, what he had been raised to do. He will have roughly one hour between the moment the Delgados should be gone and the moment the pack will start arriving. The plan was easy. Pack a bag with what he will need for an evening in the calm of a coffeshop if he could find one open on Thanksgiving night or worst case scenario he will just stay in his truck. Nothing he hadn’t done before. He knew he should have his bag ready already to avoid any surprise but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, probably because deep down he was craving seeing at least a tiny glimpse of the beta who owned his heart too much to not give himself the tiniest chance of seeing him before disappearing, running away even if just for the night.

Theo was lying to himself, pretending he was pulling back by just avoiding everyone, hiding from them and limiting his interaction with them. But deep down he knew that if he was really serious about this he would just let out a few carefully chosen words and they would all let him go. He knew enough about manipulating people but… He just didn’t want to. As much as he knew it was the right thing to do he couldn’t bring himself to actually go through with it. Couldn’t lose entirely what he had built over the last couple of months. All he could do was hope that if it came down to it he would have the strength to do it before it was too late. Maybe the merciful thing to do would be to break all of their heart and disappear in the night rather than force them to watch him go back to the monster he is deep down and having to put him down once more. The only reason he hadn’t left already was because Scott and Melissa had talked him out of it. And that he was too selfish to not let them convince him just so that he could exist near his Sunshine. He knew though it would have been best for everyone if he just had the strength to ignore them all and leave anyway and he couldn’t help himself but wish he could be strong enough to do that.

The chimera fell asleep with his mind spinning around, thinking about what ifs about the day to come and hoping as well as fearing what could happen. He knew eventually a confrontation with Liam will be inevitable. There was only so much the beta will be willing to take before showing up demanding explanation. And all Theo could do was hope that by then his situation would be resolved. Otherwise he just hoped he will be strong enough to fight back, to not give in the beta, not let himself be fooled by his words into thinking things could be okay. Could only hope that he will be strong enough to use his sharpened tongue to push him away. But that would means hurting him and if there was one person in the world Theo never wanted to hurt ever again it was the boy he was in love with. The boy he somehow anchored. The boy who anchored his humanity. The one he would do anything to protect like rushing in an hospital crawling with hunters despite his survival instinct telling him to run in the other direction.

 

* * *

 

When the morning came Theo had only gotten a few hours of sleep, having struggled to let his mind shut down enough for him to finally fall asleep only to be woken up by yet another nightmare. He had somehow managed to fall back asleep after drinking tea listening to Melissa’s heartbeat, but it still had taken some time. Yet he was the first one up, could hear the other two occupant’s steady and slow heartbeat indicating they were still asleep. His phone told him it was 8am, he knew that soon enough the house would be busy with the 3 of them trying to get everything ready, The living room still needed to be cleaned, the table to be set and the part of the food they were in charge of to be made. Luckily they weren’t in charge of the whole food, Melissa’s family were each bringing something but the turkey still needed to be taken care of as well as the stuffing and mashed potatoes. Melissa’s mom was taking care of the desserts which from what Theo had gathered included pumpkin and apple pie as well as Tres Leches Cake. The gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, green beans casserole, buttered rolls and flan were all divided between her 2 brothers and her sister. Theo decided he should get up already and start on making breakfast so that they wouldn’t waste too much time. And it was the least he could do for being given the chance to participate in a family tradition.

When Melissa and Scott finally woke, a few minutes apart, they were greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and eggs and bacon as well as pancakes that Theo had put on plates for them. It didn’t take them long to eat and before they knew it they were all busying themselves with all the tasks they had to do. When the first guess rang the doorbell, not that it would have been necessary with two supernatural in the house but they didn’t know that, they had barely finished everything, Melissa putting the turkey in the oven as Theo and Scott gave the finish touch to the table. Soon enough the house was filled with people as her sister had come with her wife and two kids, her two brother with each their wife, only one had a child. Melissa’s parents were all over their grandkids, Scott being the oldest them, the 3 kids being between 5 and 10. Theo got to see Scott taking care of hi cousins, playing with them clearly enjoying the moment. As for Theo, he tried to stay as far away as possible form them. Especially the 10 years old girl with long dark hair that reminded him a bit too much of his own sister.

He never really cared for children, he could do without all the screaming plus they tended to remind him of the innocence he lost when he was one. He pushed through though, behaved the whole time, interacting as little as he could with the Delgados, not really knowing how to engage with a whole family. Especially when they had no idea of so much of what was going on in Melissa’s and Scott’s life. Luckily they seemed to believe the explanation of Theo’s presence, just taking it for what it was: Melissa being a saint. He was happy to just sit and watch them interact, seeing the teasing, tensed moment with subject that should be avoided, a bit of fighting and lots of love. A family. He hadn’t seen that up close in years.

It made him strangely yearns for his. But he couldn’t never get this back. Not really. He will never sit at a table with his parents ever again. He wondered though if some of his cousins uncles and aunts were still alive. He remembered his grandparents dying before the Dread Doctors showed up in his life and changed it forever but maybe someone else was still alive, not that it would do any good because what even could he say to them? You probably thought I disappeared and was dead or something but surprise I’m just a murderer? That wasn’t in the card for him. Not anymore, not ever again. Not to mention if someone was still alive (he wouldn’t’ put it past the dread doctors to have exterminated all of his relatives) they would only be better off not knowing anything about him. The one good thing out of this meal was that he had been too busy thinking about family and letting himself enjoying the moment as much as he could when he wasn’t plagued with his dark thoughts to worry about the state of his eyes or the power humming in his veins, louder every day, yearning to be used.

After the last of the Delgado left the house Theo could finally breathe. No more pity looks thrown his way because of the sob story Melissa had told her family to explain his presence. He hadn’t expected it to be this hard but no one should ever look at him like this, like he is some poor orphan that lost his parents in a tragedy. It felt wrong. Was wrong. His parents disappeared long ago, never made it to the new town they had chosen to escape Beacon Hills and the ghost of their dead daughter. To this day he doesn’t know exactly what happened. Never had and probably never will. A part of him doesn’t even want to and it’s probably for the best that he doesn’t. All he know is that he is responsible for it. He still remembers getting in the car with his parents as they were leaving Beacon Hills after Tara’s death, they had decided that moving away was the best thing to do, probably because staying was too painful for them. They had no idea their daughter’s heart was still beating in Theo’s chest. He must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he knew he was in the sewer, the dread doctors telling him his parents were gone and that they would show him how to access his full potential now. Even at 9 years old it didn’t take him long after that to realize what gone meant. A few months with them had made him grow up much quicker than any child should ever have to.

But all of this didn’t matter now, not anymore. They were finally gone and he needed to get out of the house soon, he needed to be gone when the various member of the pack will start to arrive. Part of him wanted to stay, at least until Liam was here, just pretending he was running late to catch a glimpse of his Sunshine.He had considered staying near the house just to see him get there. He had missed the beta more than he could possibly express and craved to be near him, to let his scent envelop him and bring content to the animals inside of him. But he couldn’t. If he did stay it would render leaving unbearable. It was hard enough as it is, he didn’t want to make it worse, as much as he deserved the pain, he would do whatever he can to lessen it. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to resist Liam, especially when all he wanted was to give into him. It didn’t take him long to pack a bag with a few snack in it, with his heightened metabolism even Thanksgiving food wouldn’t prevent him from getting hungry again by the time it would be safe to come back, the notes he was currently working on and his phone charger. Before he could leave his room though he heard a car stopping in front of the house and it only took him a second to identify the heartbeat of the visitor. He could pick that heartbeat in the middle of a crowd. Everything in him pulled him toward it.

Liam.

Shit. That was his only thought. This couldn’t be good, he doubted the beta was there to talk to Scott and sure he could try and make a run for it, jumping from the window but he had a sneaky suspicion that the beta would just go after him. It had been stupid anyway to believe that the stubborn beta would just accept Theo disappearing from his life without putting up a fight for much longer, not after that night. Not after Liam made it clear he still wanted him around, even after he killed someone in cold blood. After he helped Theo clean his bloodied hands. He just had hoped it would take longer until Liam was done waiting around. But after all, patience was never his Sunshine’s strong suit. All Theo could hope is that he could talk some sense into Liam and convince him he just needed time. It was the truth after all, the moment he figures out a way to get that damn power out of him he will finally be able to go back to his life. He just wasn’t sure what to expect from that. If by then he will still have a life to go back to or will he have burnt all those bridges?

He could hear Scott greeting Liam, apparently not surprised in seeing him arriving so early, directing him to the chimera’s room. The alpha could tell his beta was here for him. Theo would put it past them to have conspired for Liam to be there before he vanished for the evening. The chimera just sat on his bed waiting for the beta to finally confront him. He didn’t even flinched when the werewolf opened the door harshly, the scent of his anger seeping in. But in that moment Theo didn’t care about that, didn’t care that he was probably going to be yelled at, that Liam was angry at him. Because he was finally seeing his Sunshine again. And what a sight it was with the sun hitting on him just the right way through his window, giving him a glowing look. Making him look like an angel that came straight down from heaven even if he didn’t believe in such things. And the blue of his eyes… he could swear they got bluer since the last time he got to be lost in them. They didn’t carry the same light they used to though, they were clouded with resentment.

“So you’re still alive.” Liam finally said, the words harsh on his tongue, his arms crossed on his chest. “Good to know. Did you suddenly forgot how to answer a text then?”

“Liam…” What was he supposed to say to that? What kind of excuse could he even begin to try to sell to the beta to justify his actions? He didn’t want to hurt him and lie about how he was just tired of being around him to get him to go away. But he couldn’t exactly explain the truth either.

“You’re an asshole you know that? I figure you just needed some time because you went through this massive change but… You’re suppose to rely on your friends when things get tough. Not just push everyone away and hide in your room.” The beta said, his anger becoming stronger as he spoke, coming closer to the chimera a finger pointing accusingly at him.

“I”

“No. Don’t. You’re just so full of yourself you know that? You think that just because you did something it gives you the right to act a certain way but you’re wrong and fuck you for making me worry about you. You’re so fucking stupid. I get it you can’t be around us anymore cause you killed someone again and it’s not something you were supposed to do again but Theo no one but yourself is blaming you for that. Literally. Everyone understands. You did it to protect me. To save me. I would be dead without you. Scott knows that. And he is okay with it because I’m standing in front of you, alive and breathing instead of buried under a pile of dirt. You are standing there in his house if that doesn’t prove it to you I don’t know what will. So please stop being an idiot and answer your phone and come to movie nights.”

For a second Theo couldn’t breathe, his brain providing him with the images of a dead Liam, eyes lifeless and empty. No longer shining through the night. That was not something he ever wanted to see. A reminder of what he had to prevent. But even now Liam still didn’t have any clue. Still believe that what was haunting Theo was taking a life again. He couldn’t see the truth, couldn’t see the demons dancing behind the chimera’s eyes. Couldn’t see that the real problem was power and the death that will happen in its wake. His glowing red eyes and newfound strength causing it all.

“I don’t care about that! I never cared about killing and most likely never will. Liam I’m not a good person. I’m trying to be better but I’m not good. Killing is my instinct, it’s something I have been doing since I was nine years old and if you think for one second that I would lose any sleep over killing a random enraged werewolf to save you… I don’t care about that. Don’t care about the blood on my hands. I care about its consequences.”

“What consequences? Everything is fine. Scott’s okay with it! Nothing has changed.”

“Everything has changed Liam!” anger making his voice louder, eyes shifting glowing red to show exactly what had changed even if the beta couldn’t understand it. “Don’t tell me you can’t see this. I am an alpha.”

“So what? There was several alphas in Beacon Hills before I don’t get what the problem is Theo except you looking for excuses to run away. If you finally decided that we are too good for you you could just have said so.”

That hurt. How could Liam ever think Theo was willingly walking away from them? That they were too good for him? He was the one that would never be enough. Not for his Sunshine anyway. As hard as Liam was trying he couldn’t contain the waft of hurt from escaping him and Theo couldn’t take that. He had to do something, tell Liam the truth he had been hiding since that dreadful night. He made himself get up, facing Liam, eyes hard and unforgiving as he was bracing himself for the explanation he was about to give but they couldn’t help but soften at the sight of Liam’s so big and blue.

“The problem isn’t you Liam. Any of you. The problem is me. And power. I can’t be trusted. Not with that. People die around me when power is involved and the fact that none of you seems to remember that just show how crazy you all are.”

“You think we don’t? You think we all just forgot what you were like? I thought you were supposed to be smart. Thought you had to for surviving with the Dread Doctors for so long but I guess I was wrong because how can you not see that yes we remember what you did but we also see that you’ve changed. You’re trying. Sure you’re never going to be as good as Scott but you are trying in your own way and that’s good enough for us. We let Peter run around freely when he set up a Deadpool to kill us all… We are not as stupid as you might thing. We just give second chances.”

“But you shouldn’t. Not with me. It’s only ever going to end up in one way. With me killing the wrong person and it shouldn’t have to happen. No one else should die because I can’t control myself around power. You will have to put me back anyway eventually so you should just do it already, save us all the trouble.” As much as going back to the ground terrified him it was nothing over the prospect of hurting Liam in anyway and he will take that a million time over to keep the other boy safe. It was the solution he had been avoiding, his will to live was too strong. He couldn’t give up his alpha power without giving up being a chimera for now, wouldn’t give up being a chimera. And couldn’t live with the spark of an alpha inside him. That didn’t leave him with much options. He had tried to not think about it. Convince himself he will find another way but… He hadn’t yet and Liam was right there, standing in front of him. Reminding him of the one option he had tried to pretend wasn’t real. The one that would solve everyone’s problems.

“Back where?”

“You know where Liam… just get that damn sword, I know you must have had put it back together the moment the ghost riders went away, couldn’t figure out why you never used it though. It will be easier that way. Send me back where I deserve to be. Where I still should be. Send me back to her.” In a way it would be poetic for his Sunshine to put him back right where he found him. To end the small reprieve that this has been. He wished it could have lasted longer, should have if only he hadn’t fucked up with that alpha. But this was enough, he was grateful he got the opportunity to experience friendship and people caring about him even if just for a short while. It was more than he should have ever gotten. More than he deserved.

“Absolutely not. Are you completely insane?” Liam immediately answered, voice going up in shock over hearing Theo’s suggestion. Eyes wide, looking at the chimera just like he had said the most crazy nonsensical thing the beta had ever heard.

“It’s the right thing to do and you know it! Just do it Liam!”

“No!! what is wrong with you?? You would rather be tortured for an eternity than what? Be an alpha? Is it that bad of a thing for you?”

“Liam please. I can’t stay like this. I won’t hurt you. Any of you. But I won’t be able to help it as soon as it takes over me. I will go back to who I was. Power and me… It just can’t happen again okay? I wish I could give it back but I don’t know how. So please. Help me. Send me away.” Theo wouldn’t have ever thought he would be begging to be send back to the place that still gave him nightmares. But he also had never thought he would have become an alpha after everything.

“I’m not sending you back. No.” Liam’s tone definitive. He wouldn’t budge not unless Theo forced him to. He knew he could but that would require doing the things he was trying to avoid from happening.

Theo could feel the desperation building inside him, the need to finally find a way out, all the emotions he had been repressing for weeks finally catching up to him slowly breaking away his carefully put up mask, emotions leaking causing Liam’s eyes to widen in surprise as his nose caught them.

“You don’t understand. You have to. I am dangerous like this. It’s only a matter of time before people start dying around me again. Do you really believe that I’ve changed that much? Power was my everything. It was all I’ve ever wanted since I was a kid, since the dread doctors convinced me to murder my own sister. And I would have done anything for it. I actually did. People died just so I could be more powerful. Exactly like how I got those red eyes. And there will be more because the beast inside me will crave for more and I will fall for it all over again. So please send me back. That way no one else will get hurt.” Theo said, his eyes flashing red, trying to emphasize his words.

He had been so good at keeping everything inside him, he wished he could have kept doing that, wished that Liam hadn’t come so early so that he would had never had to talk to him and reveal this part of him. But Liam had been his weakness for quite some time now, he couldn’t help it, his walls just came down when it comes to the beta. And part of him just wanted to have someone to be honest with, to be able to share things with. Something he never had until now.

“Theo…” Liam said, approaching slowly, not really finding the right words to say to what had just been revealed to him. He didn’t need any words though, he just reached for the chimera and hugged him, the gesture filled with care. Having Liam’s arms around him was everything to Theo and the fact that Liam was willingly touching the alpha right after he just confessed that he will inevitably seek power again meant so much more than his Sunshine will ever know. Despite it all Liam still trusted him to not hurt him. He let himself bask in the moment a little longer before pulling back. As much as he loved it he couldn’t hug his Sunshine forever and ignore everything else. He went back on his bed, knowing their conversation wasn’t over yet. This time Liam followed him, sitting by his side.

“Theo… I don’t think going back is the solution. It can’t be!”

“It’s inevitable. I’m a monster. I tried not to be. And sooner or later it will be clear as day to everyone and there won’t be any other option. So just save yourself the trouble and do it now. I’ve searched for a way to take it away but I couldn’t find anything. At least not yet. I won’t stop until I do but I don’t think I’ll find one in time. It has to go away or else I will have to.”

“That’s what you’ve been doing? Trying to find a way to get rid of the alpha spark?”

“Yes. I went through the Dread Doctors books. Tried to find something but it’s been a bust so far.” Liam stayed silent at that for a few moments, trying to choose his words carefully.

“You’re wrong you know? I don’t think you will go back to who you were. You’re too different now and the fact that you’re afraid of changing back to your old self proves that. Just because you are an alpha doesn’t mean you lose all of those changes. And I don’t think trying to take it away will change anything.”

“It will. At least the temptation deep down inside of me will be gone because I won’t have the ability to make it come true anymore.” And that was the simple truth. No matter what, there will always be a part of him whispering to just use that power, make a pack, take what he wants and not care about the consequences.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Wouldn’t that temptation still be there if you managed to get rid of it though? Except if would most likely turn into getting power pack.” When had Liam become so wise? It was a long way from the angry beta so easy to rile up. But then again, he had become exceptionally good at reading the chimera lately.

“I still want it gone. I shouldn’t be an alpha. Anyone but me. What happened last time is proof enough. I told you Liam, I’m not a good person. I have a darkness inside me and it’s pushing me to do things.” He was terrified of being an alpha and there was no hiding it anymore, he knew his voice and chemosignals was betraying him right now, his control slipping with the raw conversation. He could probably prevent that if he tried but… He simply didn’t want to, preferring to show Liam the importance of his words by letting his body emphasize them.

“You don’t have to be scared okay? I’ll be there. I’ll fight the darkness for you and help you stay on the right path. Whenever you feel like it’s taking over call me and I’ll be there, I’ll remind you why you are fighting yourself and you’ll see, with time it will become easier. You anchor me, let me do the same to you.” Of course his Sunshine was offering his help, offering to be exactly what he always has been to Theo since he freed him from the skinwalker’s prison even if he didn’t know.

“Sunshine.” The word slept through his lips without him meaning to. Like it just needed to be let out, to let Liam know what he is, like he couldn’t keep it for himself anymore.

“What?” Liam answered, confusion on his face.

“Chasing darkness away, like sunshine.”

“Then that’s what I’ll be. Your sunshine.” Theo was pretty sure Liam noticed the weird thing his heart just did and his breath catching when hearing Liam refers to himself as Theo’s Sunshine. He didn’t know exactly how true that statement was, how much it meant to Theo. In that moment the chimera truly wished he could just surge in and kiss the beta. But that will never be possible. Instead he just smiled weakly at his Sunshine.

“Thanks, Sunshine.” Theo must have been imagining the skip in Liam’s heartbeat as well as the light blush that covered the beta’s cheeks. There was one more thing he needed to tell him though, he was his anchor and he abandoned him. And for that he needed to apologize.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I know it probably wasn’t easy for you. I’ll be a better anchor from now on. I promise.” Another light smile escaping his lips at the word. It seems they were making a lot of promises today. He smile grew a bit bigger when Liam returned it.

“You know you’re more than just my anchor right?. You’re my friend. I want you around because I care about you more than I want you around to keep me sane. Though I do admit having you around again would be nice, coach has been driving us crazy at practice with the upcoming tournament since it’s the last one and I could really use your help.”

“Sounds like I missed some crazy practice rendition.”

“You have no idea.” Liam said before launching himself in explanation, hand gestures and all, catching Theo up on all that he missed.

 

* * *

 

“By the way Corey is pissed at you.”

“Oh… No surprised here, I figured he wouldn’t be as forgiving as Mason and you.”

“Oh no I’m pretty sure he is pissed at you for deciding to do a ghost impression. But hey you can apologize to him later tonight!”

“Tonight?”

“Yes. Thanksgiving remember?” Theo’s eyes drifted to his abandoned bag on the floor next to his bed. Liam following his looks. Before adding “You weren’t planning on staying.”

“No. I can’t it’s pack night. It’s…” Theo was ready to fight Liam on that, ready for the beta to insist that he comes anyway as the chimera had to try and reason with him.

“It’s okay. I get it. Not that I agree but it’s a work in progress. We will get you there. Just… Change back your shift? Go work with Corey and talk to him please?”

“Will do.” That was something he could do.

Liam let out a huffing noise before mumbling “You should probably go. The other will start showing up soon.” Clearly less than pleased about it.

“Yeah I should…” They stayed like this, in silence for a couple of minutes while Theo tried to make himself get up and leave his Sunshine behind. Eventually he managed, grabbing his bag with Liam following him closely, walking him back to his truck. The betta grabbed him into another hug before Theo could get in.

“I swear if you try to disappear again I will find you and kick your stupid ass.” He threatened while simultaneously holding him close, the chimera helplessly returning the hug. Melting in the other boy’s embrace.

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve missed you.” Theo mumbled in his Sunshine’s neck, breathing the scent he had missed, relishing in the arms around him. This was more than he could have ever hoped. He was so in love with the beta holding him there was no point denying it even if nothing could ever come out of it. This hug will be cherished forever. And he had missed him. Like crazy. Like nature misses the sun during a long rainy period. And now the sun was finally back. His Sunshine was back. Maybe he could finally try to let go of his fears for him and stay in its presence, basking in the warmth on his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!  
> the tres leches cake is according to google a Mexican cake (which was the intended purpose) if that's wrong please let me know with what i should remplace it with.  
> Also check out what Sammy made me for this story [here!!](https://glitter-cake20.tumblr.com/post/184318638476/happy-birthday-manonisamelon-for-mannys-fic)


	6. Facing The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary so far: Theo became an alpha saving Liam and is struggling with his new status. He wanted to leave but Scott and Melissa convinced him to stay. He is now trying to find a way to get ride of his alpha status and had been avoiding everyone but a conversation with Liam made him realize he should stop doing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it took so long again lol. I guess I'm just terrible at regularly writing.  
> This chapter was a pain and not much thiam happens but bear with me i promise next chapter is going to be full of them.  
> I hope you will still enjoy this!

Theo had ended up spending his evening in a dinner, one of the two open on Thanksgiving night in Beacon Hills, studying helplessly the paper he had brought with him, taking notes and making his brain scramble for the scratch of an idea. But he still had nothing. Well, he had a few ideas but none of them were certain to work and it wasn’t like he had subjects to try them out plus that probably wouldn’t go over very well with the pack. He was trying to get ride of his power so that no one will suffer from it. Experimenting on random strangers he kidnapped to do just that seemed a little counterproductive. Though the body count would still be lower than if he were to keep it.

His spiraling was interrupted by the loud vibrations his phone made, resting on the wooden table buried under papers, signaling a new text. His Sunshine, bless his heart, was letting him know it was safe to come back to the house as the whole pack had left. Of course, the beta would be considerate enough to think about doing that. He just cared so much, and Theo still couldn’t comprehend, for the life of him, why. After everything he did how could Liam cared about him? Wanted to be his friend. Sure, he had saved his life a couple of times, but he had still almost destroyed his pack. Would have killed him to get what he wanted. And yet… Here they were. He couldn’t think of anything worse than hurting his Sunshine now. Things had changed so much. If the Theo he was were to meet who he had become, his past self would probably never understand how he would be willing to give up everything to protect one life that wasn’t even his own.

Theo finally got up from the booth he had been occupying for the last few hours, putting his stuff back in his bag before paying for all the coffee he had consumed as an excuse to stay. It didn’t take him long to drive back home, he wasn’t surprised that Melissa and Scott were still up, cleaning the last of the mess the holiday had created. Theo helped them finishing up before they could all climb upstairs and put this exhausting day behind them, their bed ready to welcome them. The moment Theo opened his bedroom door his nose caught Liam’s scent, still lingering, instantly putting a small smile on his face. Even the faintest trace of the beta was enough to bring him joy. It didn’t took him long to fall asleep to the scent of his Sunshine, still slightly lingering on his sheets from their talk earlier but strong enough to pull the chimera in a nightmare free sleep.

When he woke up he could tell Melissa had already left for the hospital as the only heartbeat in house except his own was Scott’s. Chances were that the moment he will come down he will have to engage the conversation with him and Theo really wasn’t in the mood. He appreciated everything the alpha did for him, but he needed some quiet time after the previous night. And since they hadn’t really talk since he left to go back to college it seemed unlikely that Theo would get what he wanted. The conversation was bound to happen. Despite his apprehension Theo knew he didn’t really have a choice. He needed to get up anyway to get ready for work. It wasn’t like he could run away anyway. But if he took a longer shower than usual before coming down well, no one had to know. He had to hand it to Scott, the guy at least let him enjoy his breakfast in peace before opening his mouth as Theo was finishing to clean up after himself.

“Theo? So… I figured we should talk…”

Something was up with his demeanor and voice, it wasn’t just the ‘I should check on Theo because he is an alpha now and wanted to bail’ behavior. There was something else. Something bothering him. Theo had hoped that Scott hadn’t been listening in on his and Liam’s talk the day before even if it seemed unlikely but apparently that had been a bust.

“About which part?” Scott gave him a puzzled look, his head tilted to the right, clearly not understanding what Theo was referring to prompting the chimera to elaborate. “From my conversation with Liam, which part do you want to talk about.”

“Oh no. I didn’t… Liam told me I didn’t listen.”

Theo couldn’t help the surprise that showed up on his face. It was very Scott like to try and not pry on other people’s conversation but still that had been him spiraling. He could have lashed out at Liam. He could have hurt Scott’s precious beta. Sure he would rather injure himself than ever lay a hand on his Sunshine again but none of them knew that. The carelessness with which they all seem to regard his alpha status will never stop to astound him. Hopefully he will never prove them wrong regarding their reaction. Thought that was doubtful and realistically speaking just a question of time.

“Oh… What did he tell you?”

“That you wanted your alpha spark gone and were trying to find a way to get rid of it.” Well the cat is out of the bag it seems. Maybe now that everyone will know they’ll be able to help him figure out how to actually go through with it. Though he didn’t have much hope, it was way more likely that they’ll try to convince him that this was unnecessary. And Scott just proved him right with his next sentence.

“Theo you know you don’t have to right? It’s not just Liam who think so. You’ve changed and I don’t think you would hurt anyone now. Well that isn’t self-defense.”

“You’re wrong. You all think I’m suddenly reformed but I would not hesitate to kill anyone that pose a threat to me… To us. What happened should be prove enough of that.” Why couldn’t just any of them see him for what he really is? Will it come to the point where he had to call Stiles to the rescue and have him yell some sense into them?

“But you’re not a threat to us. Not anymore. You protect us. That’s the difference. You don’t use who you are to destroy innocent lives. You’re standing right next to Liam and protecting Beacon Hills. You’re not the bad guy anymore.”

“I’m not sure the hunters see it that way.”

“When has their opinion on anything has ever been relevant?”

Scott did have a point, and it wasn’t like Theo actually believed what he said anyway, he was just using anything he could think of to get the true alpha to back off and leave him be. He knew Scott well enough to know he will try to convince him that everything will turn out okay. It won’t, no matter how much they wanted it to be.

“it might not be but it doesn’t change anything. You can’t just make everything be okay. Not with this. You can’t fix it. Unless you know how I can just magically get rid off this” gesturing his hand toward his eyes  “cause so far I have nothing.”  He didn’t exactly have nothing just… Not a viable option he was willing to go through with.

“You don’t have to…” Scott started to say, wanting to repeat his earlier statement.

“But I want to okay? I just want this gone so things can go back to how they were. It’s easy for you to think I can control this but power isn’t the same for me. I just want it gone and nothing you can ever say will change my mind.” Hopefully that will make the alpha understand, drive his point home because he was starting to run out of polite way to explain this. It’s as if they wanted to push him to do something rash to prove them exactly why he shouldn’t be trusted. Not with power. Never again. Even if Liam had the ability to make him believe he could get through it when he was standing next to him.

Scott seemed to hesitate before opening his mouth again, as if he was unsure about sharing what he was about to say.

“Theo… If you really want your power gone… You should talk to Derek, he is in town, came back for Thanksgiving. He was an alpha before. And then he wasn’t, gave up his spark to save his sister. Maybe he can help you figure out how you can do the same.” One of the option he had consider but decided to not pursue. He didn’t really want to meet the born wolf if he could avoid it. Didn’t really wanted to know how he would be greeted, even if he wasn’t on the pack’s enemy list anymore he still tried to kill Scott and doubted that Derek looked too kindly on that with considering the true alpha like family and all.

“I know about Derek. I’m just not sure me going to see him would be a great idea.”

“Why?”

“I tried to kill you remember? It even worked for a minute. Not to mention what I did to everyone else. I doubt he would be very open to helping me.”

“His uncle tried to kill me too and they’re okay.”

“That’s family, that’s different.” Well at least with Peter he wasn’t the only one who had killed some of his family member. Th

“I’ll talk to Derek okay? I’ll ask him. And when he says yes will you consider going to him? It might not lead to anything but if that’s really what you want… Well there could be an easy harmless way out of this. I’ll take that over you doing something reckless. I’m still against it but… I’m going to let you do whatever you think is best for you.” If only Scott knew all the scenarios that went through his head already. Reckless was an understatement.

“Fine I’ll go.” Theo huffed, it wouldn’t do any harm to cave in, the chances of him actually having to face Derek were close to none and at least Scott will be happy. And leave him be on that subject.

“For what its worth I think that with time you could be a good alpha. You’re clearly afraid of wielding power and you have changed so much especially when it comes to that. You might not see it that way, but it will make you cautious with it and it might just make a great leader out of you.”

Theo had to laugh at that. He knew Scott was always trying to see the good in people but that was ridiculous. He wasn’t just afraid of power. Part of him still craved it desperately and wanted nothing more than to bask in it. It was like just because he was fighting that part of him and it wasn’t the thing that defined him anymore they just considered it gone. They just didn’t realize how close to the edge he was. Only Liam seemed to take him seriously. Promising him that he will help him fight the darkest part of him. “I don’t even know how you could come to that conclusion. I just killed someone a few weeks ago and I’m not losing any sleep over it. And I never will.”

Theo could hear Scott taking a deep breath, clearly not happy with the resistance Theo was providing against his logic. “I know we make the whole no killing a huge part of out pack but… There is more to it. Under the right circumstances any of us would be willing to cross that line. And killing people isn’t the only thing that define good and bad. You of all people should know that.” Theo wasn’t expecting that dig to say the least. Yes, ruining lives could be easily done just with carefully chosen words said in a particular context he was very familiar with the process but still. It always starts in death. That’s how it went for him and for everyone else. Even there in Beacon Hills. It all started for Scott and Stiles with the dead body of Laura Hale. Death surrounds them. It’s at the core of every problem they have encounter. The pack runs around trying to prevent people from dying. And they never eliminate threats. Not like he would.

“Yeah but you don’t go around disposing of problems with murder because it’s just the easiest solution.”

“No we don’t. And sometimes I can’t help but think that maybe if we did we would have avoided one of the many situations Beacon Hills found itself in. We would have kept more people alive. Like with Gerard if he had been dead then Monroe would have never been trained by him, the hunters wouldn’t have been such a problem. It would have been wrong but the truth is it would have saved people.”

“Maybe but if you had killed Deucalion he wouldn’t have helped you play me and who knows what would have happened if I had gotten my hands on the beast’s power, the amount of dead bodies that would have been left in my wake. Trust me you don’t want to figure that out. Ever. Plus, Kate died, and she still came back wreaking havoc.”

“Yeah she did. But what I’m saying is that there is a balance. And you see the world differently than we do. You have the abilities to make those decisions and go through with it and that might save us someday.” Was Scott even hearing himself? Had he suddenly gone completely crazy? How could he even think like that? The worst part was that he wasn’t lying to somewhat make Theo feel better. He genuinely believed in what he was saying, his steady heartbeat proving it. Theo needed make him snap out of this delusion state and fast.

“That’s not…. What would you if you found Monroe?”

“I’d try to make her surrender, try to disarm her and give her to the authorities. You know that. Why?” The alpha asked, his head tilting slightly to the right, curiosity showing, wondering most likely where the chimera wanted to go with that. Time to strike. Like a wolf hunting his prey. His eyes grew cold, his walls held up high, his smirk back on his face. The mask he had worn for so long it felt like a second skin, back in his place.

“See? She killed so many people and you still are willing to try to end things as peacefully as possible. Wanna know what I would do? I’d kill her, no hesitation, and I would make her suffer if I could. I would actually hunt her down if I wasn’t needed here.” His tone cold and calculating before adding

“Want to know why I’d do that? Because she would kill me first given the opportunity, because she had tried before and she tried to kill every single one of us. I would kill her even if she was surrounded and about to be taken in custody.” She tried to kill Liam. And for that alone she didn’t deserve to live for one more second on this earth. But Scott didn’t need to know that was one of the reasons. He’d burn the world down for his Sunshine if he had to. “That’s who I am and I’m never gonna change.” He could tell his words had finally affected the alpha, well that might have more to do with their delivery. But he also knew this was Scott, always willing to see the best in people. He wouldn’t give up so easily. This conversation needed to end. Luckily he had the perfect excuse.

“As much as I enjoyed this I need to get to work. Black Friday and retail work and all…”

“Oh yeah sure. I’ll text you about Derek.” The other alpha answered, defeated, after taking a few seconds to register what had happened. Theo had to restrain himself from throwing a ‘don’t bother’ at that. Instead he just walked away, climbing up the stairs to get his stuff before walking out and climbing in his truck. He knows he should leave right away, that Scott was probably listening in but he couldn’t help himself. He pulled out his phone and checked his inbox. Just like he had hoped the screen displayed a little one next to his conversation with his Sunshine. A smile creeped on his face as he read and texted back.

Of course the beta was checking on him after last night and for the first time in weeks he didn’t have to worry about trying to not text back. He could just do it in peace now. He wished he had time to actually call the younger wolf thought, talk to him about Scott and more especially Monroe because talking about her had riled him up and now part of him ached to find her and get rid of her. To plunge his claws in her throat and have them dripping with crimson red once more. But he really needed to get going otherwise he would end up late and if there was one day he shouldn’t be late it was today.

 

* * *

 

The one downfall of having a job in retails meant that even though it was the day after thanksgiving he still had to come in to work and he wasn’t looking forward to it at all. With the amount of people running around because it’s black Friday it’s going to be a busy day plus his poor heightened sense, ever more so now, will get assaulted left and right. And he was pretty sure he will share his shift with Corey even if there was one day where they wouldn’t have time to hang around it would be today. Though that would go against what he promised Liam. He knows its time. He can’t avoid him forever. So despite his apprehension, Theo started his truck and drove to the store, grateful that he didn’t have the earliest shift. At least he won’t have to deal with the crazy shoppers waiting at the store opening. Because those were a thing even for a record shop on Black Friday.

Sadly it didn’t meant the store still wasn’t completely packed, the moment he set his foot inside he had to run around, catering to customers needs, the flow only slowing down around noon, most likely due to lunch time. Finally, he could approach his friend, though he wasn’t sure if they were anymore, even if he was still clueless as to what even say to the other chimera. Him. Theo Raeken. Master manipulator, being able to sweet talk himself out of pretty much everything. And here he was unable to even come up with something to say to someone he had been friends with for the past few months. If anything, the alpha spark just rendered him pathetic. Just one more reason to get rid of it. He finally managed to shake himself off and approach the other boy, who was organizing records a few stand over after the morning rush, well more like stampede, had disorganized everything. He made sure to keep his footstep loud, giving Corey the opportunity to just walk away in case Liam was wrong and he didn’t want to talk to him.

“Hey… So, uh how have you been doing?” the chimera awkwardly asked after clearing his throat when he reached his coworker.

“So now you’re talking to me?” the chameleon boy scoffed back, not even bothering to face Theo, whiffs of anger, coming off him. The alpha knew from Liam Corey wasn’t happy with him but he hadn’t expected it to be that much.

“I’m sorry I ghosted you okay. I just… You said you needed time, seemed like it was the best thing to do.” Just like Liam the other boy deserved a bit more of an explanation, the cold hard truth. Plus if anyone could understand the needed to disappear it would be Corey. “And it gave me the perfect excuse to walk away, I wanted to because I know I’m going to end up hurting someone eventually. But I had a talk with Liam last night and… I might have been wrong about that… and for that I apologize.” Corey might not realize it but saying those word hadn’t been easy for him. He surely wasn’t used to apologize or talking about his feelings. All that he could hope was that his choice of word will translate his feelings well enough.

Corey shifted, letting himself look at the chimera, assessing whatever he could see on his face. “Liam told us.” Theo’s eyes went wide, full of questions, he had trusted his Sunshine with some of his deepest thoughts and couldn’t quite believe the beta had gone and told the whole pack about it, especially with his conversation with Scott this morning or else that would have mean the puppy like alpha had finally learned to lie properly. He understood Liam talking to Scott because the werewolf was worried about him and that was his alpha but everyone else… Corey must have caught on his train of thoughts as he quickly added “Just me and Mason, he didn’t even tell us anything really, only that you two talked and you were being an idiot but should come around now.” Of course, his Sunshine would never betray him like that. He should be ashamed that the thought even crossed his mind but… Years of lies and betrayal in order to survive had taught him that, it was his first instinct and it will take a long time for him to not jump to those conclusions first. Possibly also because he still couldn’t quite understand how Liam could care for him. How any of them could.

“You’re a dumbass though you know that? I asked you to give me time not disappear how am I supposed to see you’re still you if you’re not around?” Corey exclaimed. He did have a point though that hadn’t crossed his mind before now, probably because he hasn’t really tried, just focused on staying away from everyone. And as much as he was terrified of hurting them the possibility that being around the people he cares for will help him fight against his darkest impulse was very much real. Just being around Liam made him want to try harder, to see his Sunshine smile at him again.

“That had been brought to my attention yes.”

“good.” The other chameleon said before shooting him a smile and adding “So you know we are having two movie night in a row because of you, tonight and Saturday and no excuse because you need to catch up on all that you missed.”

“I don’t have a choice don’t I?” he answered, sighing, pretending like this was a chore when it just sounded like perfection to him. He had missed hanging around the three other boys too much.

“Depends, do you want Liam chasing you around town and dragging you there?” Corey answered, seeing right through him, a smile dancing on his lips. He couldn’t help but laugh at the idea, imagining the beta running after him while he tried to escape though he wasn’t so sure he would be trying very hard, after all there was nothing he would want more than for his Sunshine to catch him and feel the beta’s arms around him, bask in the warmth and comfort of his touch. He couldn’t help the soft smile that creeped on his lips.

“Maybe you do want that.” Corey added while laughing at his face. “Are you ever going to do something about that?” He asked then, his face back to seriousness.

“About what?”

“Liam. Your feelings for him?” Corey elaborate while giving him a look that clearly meant ‘Really? How dumb do you think I am?’.

Theo consider denying them but… it probably would be no use and despite him not really being into talking about his feelings, contrary to what the last 24 hours would make you believe, he could actually use someone who knows about it. At least that could mean he will have someone to distract him when Liam will eventually find someone to date. That is if he doesn’t murder everyone first and get sent back.  Though at least in the ground he wouldn’t have to witness Liam being happy with someone else and would only get his heart ripped out physically, over and over again, instead of metaphorically.

“You know?”

“Yeah… Mason too, it’s kinda hard to miss when we know you. He is the only one you would cave for after he looks at you with his puppy eyes. Plus the way you look at him sometimes. It’s like he hung the moon or something.” More like the sun but yeah… Or something was the right word for it.

“Oh.” And here he though he wasn’t being too obvious. Well he still had some work to do, but he knew there was things that were hopeless, it just couldn’t be helped around the blue-eyed beta.

“I’m not sure anyone else has noticed though. I didn’t say anything but Mason is working on Liam for you. He is going to make him realize eventually. You just have to be patient.”

Theo had to keep from snorting at that, it was so nice of his friend to support him but Liam was hopeless. Mason was wasting his time, him and Liam would never happen. No matter how he dared hope for it in his wildest dreams. He didn’t have it in him to ruin his friends spirit though.

“Thanks for the tip.”

“ill let you know as soon as it’s safe for you to tell him. That is if Liam doesn’t come running because he has realized his feelings and need to share them right away.” If only that could happen. But it was nothing but bittersweet wishful thinking, only reminding him that it’s not something he could ever have.

“That does sounds like him” It truly did, Liam wasn’t hesitant to tell people he loved them. Always ready to share his heart.

As much as they were joking around right now Theo couldn’t help but wonder if things really were as okay as it seemed between him and Corey or if the chimera was only being nice because Liam got involved. It didn’t seem likely as Corey seemed sincere and he couldn’t catch anything in his scent or behavior indicating otherwise. But he still needed to be sure. He had to ask.

“Corey… Are we okay?”

“Yeah… we’re good.” The other chimera said slowly before giving him a small smile and adding “After all if you had gone back to power hungry murderous you, you wouldn’t have ghosted us just to make sure you wouldn’t hurt us.” Though it wasn’t the whole truth it still was true. And there was no hiding from it. He had dealt with emotions way too much for the day already, so he did whate he does best and changed the subject, focusing on something else, push it away.

“We should get back to it before they all come back in masses though.” Corey seemed to understand Theo needed his space because he didn’t try to fight him on it just agreeing before they both went back to putting the records stacks back in order, working next to each other in ease, exchanging smiles and complains about unruly customers.

Theo took advantage of his break to exchange more texts with Liam, settling the details for the night. Obviously the beta had wanted the invitation to come from Corey to show Theo he wanted him there as his ‘see? I was right and if you don’t come tonight I swear I’ll hunt you down and you won’t be able to escape me.’ showed it perfectly. The werewolf was definitely crafty when he needed to be. They were supposed to meet up at Mason’s house and Theo was in charge of getting the drinks. He also texted Melissa to let her know he probably wouldn’t be home that night, he could only imagine her happiness at him going out again. He had been able to smell her concern over the last few weeks. And before he knew it his break was over and he had to go back to the hell that was the store on this dreaded day. But at least he had the knowledge that in a few hours he will see his favorite person and will be able to bask in his scent and feel the peace he could only ever feel when with the beta.

 

* * *

 

Once his shift was over and after he had said his goodbye to Corey instead of disappearing like a thief in the night it was time he went to see someone who might have an answer for him. Someone he had been putting off visiting. There was a good chance he wouldn’t be welcome, and he wasn’t exactly used to going there unless it was completely necessary. Asking for his help kinda felt like admitting defeat, admitting that he wouldn’t find a solution on his own. But even if it took him some time, he would rather face his failure than risk the alternative. With that in mind the chimera got in his truck and drove toward the animal clinic. Not long after he was walking in, the bell on the door signaling his arrival to the veterinarian.

“Mr Raeken, what can I do for you?”

“Deaton” Theo greeted him with a nod before continuing, “I am sure you know I’m an alpha now. And I’m trying to not be one anymore. I went back to the dreads doctor lair in hope of finding something in their research on how to give power up but it wasn’t exactly the direction they were studying so I was wondering if you wouldn’t happen to have any knowledge on the subject?” Straight to the point. He didn’t have the time or motivation to play games. He just hope the veterinarian would return the favor by keeping the cryptid shit to a minimum.

“I might. Out of curiosity could you…” Deaton said while gesturing towards the board sealing the building with Mountain ashes. He hadn’t encountered wolfsbane or mountain ashes since his eyes became red, he couldn’t deny he was curious where he stood on the matter. Will he still remain immune to the ashes like he used to? And here was a way to find out, not requiring any danger. He breathed in, making his way toward the panel, his hand hesitating for a second before grabbing it and slowly lifting it, opening the passage and encountering no resistance.

“Just as I’ve suspected. It seems you’ve kept your chimera advantage. Do you know the extend of your alpha power?”

“I haven’t exactly tried using them. That’s why I’m here.”

“I’m assuming you would like to remain a chimera?”

“Preferably.” More like he needed to. He wasn’t sure he could survive in this world as a mere human, especially not in Beacon Hills. Not to mention he might actually not survive if he isn’t a chimera with all the shit the Dread Doctors did to him.

“I should have a book that might contain answers but I’m afraid they are not the ones you’re looking for. It does refer to a way of collecting power, you are welcome to study it. You might find a way to use it.”

Theo watched as Deaton opened a cabinet looking for the book in questions but something else had caught Theo’s eyes. Something he was sure would work, something he hadn’t know where to look for and here they were, sitting in a jar inside of one of the clinic’s cabinet. Belasko’s claws. So close he could reach them, the possibility of being free made that much real. Now wasn’t the time though. He will have to discretely grab them the next time they will have to meet at the animal clinic because of whatever danger Beacon Hills would be in then. Or he could sneak in at night and steal them if that took too long to happen. But that would be a last resort, Deaton had updated his security system since the last time he broke in. For now he has the knowledge of their whereabout and that was enough. He knew they were safe and doubted anyone would use them.

The veterinarian closed the cabinet, Theo’s view on the claws disappearing with the door being shut, and came back to the chimera with a book in his hand, extending it to him once he was close enough.

“Page 37. I do have to warn you though. Playing with power is dangerous. Though you know that already. And you are unique. An alpha chimera. There is no way of knowing if it will even work on you. Or how it could affect you.”

“Thank you for the book. And the concern but I’ll be fine.”

His phone vibrated in his pocket, signaling an incoming text. Theo fished it out only to see Scott telling him that Derek had accepted to meet and that he could go right now, giving him the perfect out of what could have been a weird and enigmatic conversation with the emissary that he didn’t need. He needed to stay sharp and focus not thrown off by cryptic comments. Though he couldn’t help but be surprised that the true alpha managed to make this happen even if he didn’t let any of it show to Deaton.

“As much as I appreciate this talk I have to go. A solution to my problem might have just come to light.” Theo said, phone held high indicating where his information was coming from.

“Mr Raeken? You’re doing the right thing.” Theo nodded at Deaton before walking out without a second glance. He knew exactly how to get back in already. He climbed in his truck and drove toward the building downtown that held the ex-alpha and quite possibly answers to his problem.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take him long to get there and stand in front of the door waiting for the steady heartbeat behind it to come and open it. He knew the werewolf knew exactly who was standing on the other side of his door, knew that Derek was making him wait on purpose, most likely to test how badly he wanted answers. As if Scott asking Derek for help on his behalf hadn’t been enough to indicate that. He took advantage of that time to shoot a text to the beta and let him know he might run a bit late. He didn’t want his Sunshine to worry that he had bailed on him. 5 minutes later the door finally opened, revealing the older born wolf.

“The infamous Theo Raeken.”

“Derek Hale.” Theo was on high alert, emotions completely under control his rein tight over it, defense mechanisms fully functioning, and walls held up high. If Derek hoped to get anything from his chemosignals he will be disappointed. He was in perfect control.

“Come on in.” The werewolf said while gesturing for Theo to enter the apartment and closing the door behind them. He guided Theo to a couch, indicating him to sit down.

“So. You’re an alpha.”

A part of Theo saw the other wolf as a threat and he couldn’t help but want to showcase his power, flash his eyes and insert his dominance, showing nothing but strength. But this wouldn’t lead him anywhere in this situation. He needed the werewolf to help him, to tell him what he knew. Not start a fight.

“Hopefully not for long.”

“And that’s what you need help with?”

“Obviously, you were an alpha, you’re not anymore. But you’re still alive, still a werewolf. I know you somehow gave up the spark to save your sister. I just don’t know how.”

“To be honest I’m not sure how it happened. I was taking her pain, willing to give everything to save her, even my own life and I just kept going and it happened. I could feel all of her pain and I took it all even when I knew I should stop because it was too much I kept going. That’s when it started. I could feel the power leaving me, I knew I could stop it if I wanted to. There is no big secret. You just have to care enough about someone to take that much pain.” The older boy revealed.

Interesting, closely similar to how he used pain to get power before though… They ended up dead. “but if you take that much pain, don’t you just take their life, their power? That’s how I killed my pack.”

“The difference is the reason behind your action, you wanted their power, wanted them dead, I wanted to safe my sister, with no regard to what it would do to me. You just have to take someone’s pain without any ulterior motive.” Derek answer, voice calm and devoid of emotion. Just like Theo he wasn’t letting anything slip. The chimera briefly wondered who out of the two of them had the better control. After all Derek was a born wolf, had the whole Hale heritage going for him. And Theo had to master control on his own, to perfection to be allowed to live. Though one question remained in his mind concerning Derek’s technique.

“Do you think it could work? If the ulterior motive was to give the spark away?”

Derek paused, seemingly thinking it through before giving his opinion. “I don’t think so. But you’re a chimera. I’m not even sure it could work without ulterior motive.”

The ultimate problem with him. He wasn’t strictly supernatural, and like his ability to still cross mountain ashes unbothered showed at the animal clinic he was still very much one. The spark didn’t alter his chimera status. Just his omega one. No one knew for sure which rules applied to him and which didn’t. No one knew the true extent of his abilities. Not even himself. “That seems to be a recurring problem… Thanks though for sharing.” Theo said while nodding his head toward the werewolf to emphasize his gratitude. His gesture was met with a grump of acknowledgement.

“if you can do it you’ll know when it happens but… It requires someone you care for to be dying. I think that’s your main problem here.” He had been wondering when he would at least get on small snarky comment, Derek was smart though he waited and struck right where he thought would hurt most. Aka Theo’s inability to have people in his life. Too bad the former alpha didn’t know about the human well werewolf embodiment of Sunshine that currently owned his heart. Derek had no idea how wrong he was. There was someone Theo cared for more than anything else. The real question was would he be willing to risk it?

“I’ll keep that in mind” the chimera said as he was getting up and walked toward the door. Before he could reach it though the werewolf interrupted.

“Can I ask? Why?” What the older men was referring to was fairly obvious. Theo’s desire to give up a power that guaranteed him a place at the top of the food chain. Curiosity was inevitable especially from someone who had that power once and didn’t sought to give it up. He was just surprised the werewolf had cared enough to ask. Curiosity was a pesky thing, especially when your interlocuter knew how to control themselves to not betray their feelings and intentions.

“Same reason you’re not seeking your power back I’m guessing. Last time you were an alpha your betas died. I killed mine. I’m just trying to prevent the inevitable.” Lying would bring him nothing in this situation, the truth wasn’t a shameful secret. Just because the pack had to have it spelled it out for them didn’t mean it wasn’t obvious. It didn’t mean he was hiding it.

Derek just nodded at that, understanding showing on his face. “Good luck.” Theo didn’t need any other cue to know that their conversation was over and that he should leave. As expected, the werewolf didn’t have any miracle solution for him. He did give him some things to consider but deep down he knew he wouldn’t be willing to pay the price for them.

After all, if the way to give power willingly was to care enough about someone that you just wanted to take all their pain to save them, no matter the cost then there was really only one way to accomplish that. Liam had to almost die. Sure, Theo could wait for that to occur naturally, considering the pack’s track record it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. But it wouldn’t be controlled, and a mistake could happen way too quickly. Which left him with the option to orchestrate himself for Liam to get injured bad enough that it would require extra power to save him. And that…  While he had absolute confidence in himself that he could pull it off the risk was too great. Bringing the one person he cared about most close to death for his own benefit. It tasted too much like who he used to be. Who he wanted to avoid becoming again.

Not to mention the fact that he could never bear to put Liam in any actual kind of danger even if under control. To actually plot against his Sunshine, willingly scheming to inflicting him pain, he just couldn’t picture it. And even if he did it would make him lose Liam forever, even the beta wouldn’t be able to look past that. So what good would it be to be power free be having lost the one thing he was doing all of this for? And what if it didn’t work? What if he couldn’t give his power up? What then? He couldn’t even bear to imagine that outcome. He would rather plunge the sword back in the ground himself and go back there willingly. It would be less painful.

Theo climbed back in his truck and drove to the grocery store focusing himself on picking everyone’s favorite drink, pretending he didn’t for one second seriously consider this as a viable option. Pushing those thoughts away. Choosing to focus on his friends instead of the darkness creeping inside him, whispering in his ears. He was just beyond grateful that he will see his Sunshine soon, and it will all fade away. Only the light in his blue eyes will stay. And nothing will hurt those beautiful eyes, especially not himself.

Once he was done paying for the various bottle of soda he climbed back in his truck and drove toward his last destination of the day. The place he had been craving to go ever since he had gotten out of Derek’s building. Well since he got Liam’s text if he was honest. Luckily the store wasn’t very far from the Hewitt’s home and he was pulling over next to the house in no time. As he was getting out of his truck the front door opened, revealing the sight he had missed more than he should since the previous night. His Sunshine giving him his beautiful smile before opening his mouth.

“You came.” The werewolf mumbled, happiness and relief in his scent. For a second the chimera felt bad for making Liam doubt he would even show up. But he shook it off in favor of basking in the boy in front of him, letting his scent wrap around his senses. He knew already in his heart that this night will be a good one. All he had to do was let himself enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) Hopefully next one will happen faster!  
> Don't hesitate to point out typoes and mistakes.


	7. Into The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary so far: Theo became an alpha saving Liam and is struggling with his new status. He wanted to leave but Scott and Melissa convinced him to stay. He is now trying to find a way to get ride of his alpha status and had been avoiding everyone but Liam convinced him to stop doing that and Theo is slowly coming back to his friends. He is still searching for a way to get rid of his power though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really terrible with this updating thing aren't I? In my defenses that chapter just wouldn't stop so at least it's longer than usual?  
> I hope you enjoy, it's full of theo and liam having moments!  
> As always let me know if you spot any inconsistency, I've tried my best but wow so many things to keep track of!

Theo had missed this, nights filled with laughter, getting to see his Sunshine smile. It flew by and before he knew it, it was 1 am and they were all stretched out on the various available surface in Mason’s room talking and somehow ending up wondering what animals werewolf were as strong as. The only human was currently making a case for a mama bear. It was perfect. That is up until Mason raised one question, curiosity getting the best of him and wondering how much stronger Theo had become since... The incident. Needless to say, both him and Liam couldn’t believe he hadn’t tried his new abilities out yet and that he only knew he was still impervious to mountain ash, after all that was one of the fun parts of being a werewolf so might as well experiment with them. Liam launched himself in the tale of how, after Mason had learned about the supernatural, they went and experiment with Liam’s abilities and insisted that the next day him and Theo will go in the preserve to test his. Clearly it wasn’t up for discussion. And Theo doubted Liam realized why he had been avoiding this, not at 1am in the morning anyway.

After they all woke up in the late morning and wolfed down all the breakfast food in Mason’s kitchen Corey went to work for his shift at the coffee shop, Mason driving him there and probably planning to drink coffee all afternoon while watching his boyfriend and maybe studying a bit. Theo and Liam walked out with the couple and climbed in the chimera’s truck, driving toward the preserve. Theo wasn’t sure about letting his power lose but he had to admit he was curious too plus he would get to spend the day with Liam and that was priceless. Getting to be in the presence of his Sunshine for hours on ends. Just the two of them. he knew it could be dangerous for his heart but he wasn’t strong enough to be able to resist it. The short trip was filled with Liam changing the song every 30 seconds. Usually that behavior would drive Theo crazy but with Liam it just made him smile and shake his head in fondness. Probably because the beta was enthusiast about every song, telling Theo about them before switching because he had even better. 15 minutes after leaving they finally pulled up in front of the preserve, climbing out of the car and walking towards the trees. It was best if they were a bit hidden, they didn’t want the sheriff to come and question them after people walking nearby called in to complain. But with all the shit that happened there if any human was crazy enough to go anywhere near the preserve in this town they kinda deserved whatever came their way in Theo’s opinion. Or they had just moved there and in that case did no research about the city they chose to live in.

Theo followed his Sunshine, letting him lead the way toward the spot him and Mason had probably used when the human had learned about his best friend’s condition, only stopping when they reached the trunk of a tree lying there, fallen after lighting struck him according to the marks, just as if it was waiting for people to sit on it. The fall of the tree had caused a sort of clearing to form around it, probably by destroying the other trees that were there. But before Theo could suggest sitting there Liam turned around and started to talk, hesitation in his voice almost as if he wasn’t sure he should ask.

“I didn’t want to ask last night but why didn’t you try out your improved power yet? Is it because you’re scared you’ll just lose yourself in it?” Theo had been expecting Liam to ask eventually. He just hadn’t been expecting it to be now. Not when they haven’t even started but it was fitting in a way, plus it was the beta, ever so thoughtful. Knowing him he woke up thinking about how the might be pushing the chimera into something he might not be ready and wanted to make sure Theo was really okay with what they were about to do. At least that’s what his scent suggested. And Theo had underestimated the smart beta. Of course he had figured him out. Lately Liam had been oddly good at that.

“Yeah. I just figured, if I didn’t got a taste you know? It will be easier to resist it.” Even now… He wasn’t sure he could do it. Wasn’t sure he could fight against the unavoidable calling he will feel inside him the moment the power will flow into him.

Liam must have sensed his reluctance to the whole thing as he added “if you really don’t want to do this we don’t have to.” As much as he did want to back out he also knew that tapping in his power will be inevitable with time. And he might as well do it now. In a safe environment and with someone to pull him back. The only person that probably could actually. That way when he will use it he won’t be taken by surprise. He might be able to resist the calling. Plus he couldn’t deny the part inside of him that just wanted to see how much stronger he had become too.

“No, I’m curious too I want to know. I’m just…” Truth was he didn’t know what would happen. All he could do was hope he wouldn’t open his eyes, glowing red, reveal on the power, get high on it and crave for more. There was no telling on what kind of rampage he could go on. But if there was one person he knew could snap him out of it, one person he trusted to help him through this, it was his Sunshine.

“You got this. I’m here to pull you back from the darkness remember? I’ll help.” Liam said, eyes big and welcoming and Theo couldn’t help but believe him. His Sunshine will chase the darkness away, he won’t let him drown. He will be there every step of the way. He will keep the darkness away and it could call him all it wanted, chant in his veins his Sunshine will be stronger. The light in his impossibly blue eyes will be stronger.

He had been holding his power back, caging it somehow in his body, not letting himself use it. The chimera closed his eyes and finally gave in his curiosity, letting the power run through his veins, flowing through him. It was exhilarating and he hadn’t even tapped into it. And completely terrifying.

“Theo?” Liam asked softly, arms reaching out, bringing the chimera back to the preserve. He opened his eyes slowly, knew they were briefly blazing red before returning to their original shade, and was met with the face of the boy he loved. His eyes looked even bluer, it was breathtaking. All he could focus on was the wolf in front of him. He looked… He didn’t even have words for it. It was as if everything had come into focus and became sharper. And his Sunshine was at the center of it, standing there, flawless. He could just stay there all day and getting lost in those eyes, memorizing every different spec of colors in them until it was printed forever in his brain. Liam’s bright eyes were made of an infinite of tiny flakes of several shades of blue and Theo wished he could spend the day counting them all. And his lips, looking so soft and inviting he wished he could cover them with his own and protect them from the world. He had to fight his own body to not give in and kiss the boy that shines brighter than the sun.

It wasn’t just his sight that was sharper, it was everything. His sense of smell was stronger, the beta’s scent filling his lungs in a way it never had before. He knew right then he could get high on that scent and spend his life chasing it. It was addictive and he never wanted to smell anything else than that ever again. Liam was everything around him, the only thing really. He was surrounding his every sense, even his skin. He could feel the warmth of the beta’s hand from where it rested on his forearm. And he longed to just reached and intertwine their hands, only imagining how powerful it would feel. He isn’t sure they wouldn’t instantly combust. And to think that just this extra spark granted him such better sense and it probably was how all real werewolves felt all the time. Chimeras truly were cheap knock off, even worse than he thought. Than they thought too most likely.

He could feel it though. The part of him that wanted more, craved for it. Needed to feel even higher. He didn’t know how any werewolf weren’t just addicted to feelings when everything felt like this. The more power the more everything around them would be sharper, more vibrant and once you tasted the difference power could make how were not supposed to chase for more?

“Theo? You okay?” The beta asked again, squeezing his hand around the chimera’s arms, bringing him back to focus.

“I’m good. Everything is just… More.” There was no other word to describe the rush he was feeling. Every was clearer and it was the first time he could experience it as a human, without muddled wolf brain. And even then, he wasn’t sure his wolf form was as sharp as this.

“Good more?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled through the smile he couldn’t help from blooming on his face. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with Liam’s scent and the forest around them before deciding to see just how far his hearing could go now. He closed his eyes and focused on the water running not far from them, the forest life around it letting his focus push as far as he could. His hearing was even better than when fullshifted, which got him thinking. He could probably still shift but would his wolf be stronger? He needed answers, needed to shift but that would mean walk away from Liam, losing the beta’s hand on him, still holding onto him, anchoring him to reality, his fingers wrapped around his forearm, feeling so soft. Though he knew it would have to happen eventually he couldn’t stay frozen in that moment forever, no matter how much he might want to. He basked in it for a few more moments before finally opening his eyes again. Almost losing his breathe when he was met again with Liam’s stunning eyes, curiosity dancing in his gaze. Theo could instantly tell the wolf had been studying him, probably trying to decipher what was going on in his head.

He couldn’t help the regret flooding through him the moment he pulled back, the moment he lost Liam’s warmth on his body. Hopefully one day he will feel it back. But he didn’t let himself dwell on that. Instead he took another step back before swiftly removing his shirt, letting it drop on the ground carelessly. Part of him couldn’t help but hope his sudden lack of clothes would provoke a reaction out of Liam. And he wasn’t disappointed.

“What are you doing?” The beta sputtered. Theo couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on Liam’s cheeks and racing heart. Wondering if it could be… But it couldn’t Liam was probably wondering why his friend was suddenly stripping in front of him.

“I’m shifting. We’re here to test my powers right? Well I want to know if I’m stronger too in my wolf form.”

“First of all you can fulllshift? How did I not know this? And second, shouldn’t we like work on your human form first?”

“Actually no, humans needs are lessen in wolf form, human thoughts like wanting power are taking a step back it will actually be easier. And I don’t know, Malia knows about it. I figured she told everyone when I was the enemy.” He said shrugging before taking his shoes off, stopping before unzipping his pants, hands hovering. He could just keep going but being naked while Liam was staring at him wasn’t something he was ready for just yet, especially knowing that if that were to happen he would want to be naked for a whole other reason. The fact that it will never happen didn’t stop him from hoping. He had half-expected for Liam to turn around when he dropped his t-shirt but the beta was still there, watching him, eyes glued to his chest. When Liam’s gaze finally rose to meet Theo’s eyes the chimera raised an eyebrow pointedly, causing his Sunshine to flush, god he looked pretty like that, and clumsily turn around as fast as he could. Theo finally finished stripping before letting the wolf take over, feeling the shift take over and before he knew it he was on all four, paws resting on the dead leaf littering the preserve’s floor.

Immediately he was overwhelmed by the scents and noises around him, shifting always did that as some of his senses developed and he adapted to his new body. He could tell that in this form too he was stronger, could feel the power running though him. He trotted toward Liam, nudging his leg softly with his snout for the beta to turn around, watching as his friend discovered what his wolf form looked like. He watched as Liam’s eyes grew wide, taking in the black wolf standing in front of him. Theo could see the twitch in his hand and could already tell the beta just wanted to pet him.

“You look beautiful Theo.” He hesitated before adding “Can I?” extending his hand, the unasked question crystal clear. His wolf ears twitched before he bowed his head, nudging Liam again and looking up at him with his big amber eyes, hoping the beta will understand his gesture for a yes. Liam slowly reached for Theo’s head, letting his finger run against it before softly digging in the thick fur, scratching behind his ears causing Theo to blink slowly in contentment and wag his tail. Liam dropped to the floor to have better access and they stayed like that for a while, Liam just petting Theo, all thought of power forgotten, all that mattered was Liam’s hand in his fur and Theo rubbing over the young werewolf in contentment.

“Not such a big bad wolf anymore now uh?” Theo nipped Liam’s hand in revenge and flashed his eyes bright red. Just because he currently had 4 paws and a tail, enjoying scratches, didn’t mean he was any less dangerous. His razor sharp teeth were deadly weapons. He had used them before. Though he would never really use them against Liam. Not when he could just enjoy the beta’s hands buried deep in his fur.

He hadn’t realize he had been subconsciously marking Liam, only noticing once he shifted back to his human form after having to yet again rip himself away from his Sunshine’s touch. He could smell himself all over the beta. Which was heaven and pure torture at the same time. He wanted nothing more than to be able to mix his scent with his Sunshine but… It wasn’t real. Not like that.  It was just the alpha part inside him yearned for betas and wanted nothing more than to claim Liam as his own. And the other wolf not realizing what he had been doing even if he hadn’t really meant to do anything.

 

* * *

 

Once he was fully dressed again he called out to the beta, letting him know it was safe to turn around after he had hurriedly turned his back on the chimera when he had realized what Theo was about to do. It took him all his strength to not just walk right back in the beta’s personal space and get lost in him again. Luckily Liam decided to help him by bringing up what they were really here for.

 “Now that you’re human again how about we test that strength of yours?” He asked, playfulness in his voice.

“You’re just curious to see if I’m as strong than you aren’t you?” Theo couldn’t help but tease back, bringing a much lighter mood to their situation. Diffusing all the pent-up emotions that built since the moment Theo closed his eyes for the first time and let the power in.

“Maybe…” Liam answered, a grin on his face before adding “ok so how do we do that like, do you want to try to punch a tree? Though that sounds mean to the tree. They haven’t really done anything.” Theo couldn’t but smile at that, of course the embodiment of Sunshine would care about damaging trees.

“Well it was your idea to test my strength so…” He couldn’t be too helpful, now could he? His image needed to be maintained, though if he was being honest he was pretty sure that went down the drain the moment he came to Liam running because the other boy needed help on a Friday night to fix Jenna’s Ganesha statuette that came from her epic after college around the world trip and held a lot of memories for her before she came back from her weekend getaway with David. And the amount of energy he spent trying to figure out how to do so did not help his case. It ended up involving supernatural ingredient to make it look perfect again.

“We can… Carry rocks?” The beta asked, sounding a bit unsure of how good of any idea that actually was. Which he was right to be because like… Rocks? Really? That didn’t really sound very epic. Though they would probably be heavier than gym weight plus they would need an empty gym to avoid any scene.

“Do you see any rocks around here?” Theo answered, gesturing toward the trees surrounding them, he couldn’t help the snarky comeback. It was part of who he was after all.

“Obviously not but I know where there are some.” Liam answered, his face conveying the unsaid duh. “Got anything better to suggest?”

“Except waiting for Monroe to show up back in town with whatever trash she picked up along the way and ripping them all to shred not really no.” the chimera admitted.

“So to the rocks we go!” the beta exclaimed cheerfully, the ever blinding smile back on his face. “it’s a bit far though.”

“know what else we can test while going there that will make us arrive faster?” Theo said, grinning, running in the preserve with Liam, pushing himself to see how far he could go sounded, he hadn’t known how much he needed that until the thought crossed his mind.

Liam seemed to caught up his train of thoughts immediately as he grinned back and asked “Speed?”

“Yeah, think you’re faster than me?”

Liam scoffed in response, confidence slipping from his scent making Theo smile. His Sunshine’s competitiveness was showing and he’d love to explore that. Neither of them liked to lose and the speed test just turned into a race. They were just standing there, body tense, eyes locked and challenging each other. Ready to bolt. Though for convenience reason Liam needed to lead the way because Theo had no idea where he was supposed to go. The tension was building for the both of them until the chimera couldn’t take it anymore.

“Run” he said while smirking, unable to help himself.

Liam took off and Theo gave him a 10 seconds head start before starting to chase after him. After all he needed to see how fast he could go, if he could catch up to the beta, catch up to Sunshine. They were both racing through the trees, Liam ahead of him, both pushing themselves until everything was just a blur and the only reason they didn’t trip on the uneven forest floor was pure animal instinct taking over. He was never this fast, not even as a wolf, and it was everything. He could feel the air flowing around him, hear the noise they were both making with their feet repeatedly hitting the ground. He could feel the power inside him, knew he still had some left in him that he could tap into, so he did just to see how close he could get to Liam. But the beta did the same thing, maintaining the tiny gap that existed between them. Staying ahead. Theo knew he wasn’t going to win. Not with speed alone. But he had never really played fairly had he? He knew exactly what he had to do, all he needed now was to wait for the right moment.

When they finally reached a wider path he leaped forward, closing the gap and tackling Liam, sending the both of them tumbling on the ground, bodies pressed together. “Gotcha.” Theo whispered in his Sunshine ears, having somehow ended up on top of the beta. He had to push down the urge that was screaming inside him to playfully bite the other wolf’s neck. He did took a deep breathe tough, eyes closed, it was impossible to resist when being so close to the beta, the heavenly scent filling up his lung. It turned out to be a terrible idea as he now craved to nuzzle Liam’s neck. Slowly he opened his eyes only to be met with impossibly crystal blue orbs, shining with a myriad of emotions. The only sound that could be heard was both of their heartbeats, fast and strong, faster than they should be. Resisting to dive down toward Liam’s inviting lips was an impossible task.

But somehow he managed. Found the strength deep inside himself to push back. Liam shouldn’t have to endure him like that, he would be better off without him in his life. Or maybe it was simply fear of rejection. Either way Theo jerked away, rising to his feet while already missing the warmth of his Sunshine’s body against his, craving to have it back. He extended his hand to the beta that was still lying on the floor, helping him up. His mind couldn’t help but flash back to the last time he did that, a body lying nearby and the same power he had just tapped into flowing in his veins for the very first time. Thinks couldn’t be more different this time. No bridges, no blood, no darkness only Sunshine smiling at him and filtering through the trees, surrounding them. He couldn’t help but use helping Liam up to flush the other boy against himself, hands lingering on the beta’s arms, stealing a bit more warmth before ripping himself away again by taking a step back.

“You okay?” He whispered, eyes fixed on Liam, needing to check he hadn’t injured the beta with his tackle.

“All good” the beta answered softly, a smile on his lips, before looking away, shattering the moment. “We’re not that far anymore if you still want to pick up rocks.”

“Lead the way” Theo said while gesturing to Liam to go ahead with his hand. The chimera followed the beta and it didn’t take them long before they reached a cliff that overlooked the whole of Beacon Hills, Theo could only imagine what it looked at night, the lights from the city being the only thing you could probably see from there. Liam had been right. There was rocks around there. Huge ones. More like boulder.

“Tada here you go.” The younger wolf said while gesturing at them. “well the smaller ones are rocks?” He added sheepishly, a coy smile on his lips.

“So we’re really doing this? Moving rocks?” Theo couldn’t help the dubious feelings in him, it seemed rather… silly and archaic. He had hoped for something a bit more fun. But it would be efficient.

“Do you have any better ideas yet that doesn’t involve fighting whatever will eventually show up ransacking the town?” Theo had to admit that he did not. He has been spending his time avoiding his power and trying to get rid of it so he had not reflected on that subject.

“Not really no.”

“See? I bet you can’t move that boulder over there” the beta said while pointing to a relatively big one. It didn’t fail to poke at Theo’s competitive side. Maybe that had been exactly Liam’s intention. He wouldn’t put it past the beta to try and figure out a way to make him forget what they were really there for. And he more than welcomed it.

“is that a challenge?” he couldn’t help but retort, eyebrows raising questioningly.

“Maybe.” The beta grinned through the word.

“Then you’re on.”

A few seconds later the two boys were moving various rocks, starting with relatively small ones. After all Theo hadn’t really moved many rocks in his life, he had no idea how heavy they could go. Plus depending on the type of rocks the size they would be able to move will change. He had no idea about the density of those particular rocks. The dread doctors were great to learn about the science involving bodies and the supernatural. Geology not so much. Gradually they increased the size of the rocks they were picking up until they were moving small boulders, trying to see who could move the heaviest. Liam eventually won. Even with alpha strength he was still no match for the beta, not in raw power. But fuck was he stronger now. And using that power felt way too good, finally letting out everything he kept bottled, locked away inside of him for weeks. It scared him to think of the damage it could have done if he had kept going and eventually snapped, destroying everything around him. For once more in his life he was grateful to Liam, for having convinced him to let it all out, for being the light in the dark and standing right by his side so that whenever the darkest part of him whispered too loudly in him all he had to do to shut them up was look at the beta with the bright blue eyes and the mop of way too long light brown hair to make it go away.

They were both sitting against the rocks, resting after their efforts, letting both of their heartbeat slow down and their body cool down, enjoying the moment in silence. The only sound apart from the nature around them was Liam was trying to blown his hair out of his face. And he was failing spectacularly, sweat making them stick to his face. The whole thing was rather hilarious and a laugh started to bubble in Theo’s throat as he watched.

“Your hair truly is a mess you need a haircut. Desperately.” The chimera said while trying to swallow down his laughter, and failing, at the beta’s antique who just glared at him. He couldn’t help himself and let his hand reach out and mess with the beta’s hair even more, making him glare at Theo harder and slap the chimera’s arm away.

“Don’t make fun of me. And don’t pretend that never happened with your hair.”

“Of course it did but I know how to take care of it.” He answered smugly. He just used his hands instead of blowing helplessly toward the top of his hair.

The beta ignored that in favor of changing the topic away from the mess of his hair, finally passing a hand through them to free his face. “What else should we do?”

“Well moving rocks was nice and all but I doubt I’m going to do much of that.”

“You’ll be moving stuff soon enough though.” Theo gave the beta a quizzical look at that. “When you’ll move in your own place” he elaborated at the chimera’s reaction.

“That’s not happening just yet.”

“Oh…” Liam seemed surprised at that statement. “I figured with all that happened you’d try to move out faster.”

The beta, as always lately, was spot on. He really wanted nothing more than to get out of that house. As nice as it was to live there, he didn’t belong there. Not like this. But sadly the real world and Melissa didn’t make it so easy. “I want to but… I need more money for a decent place first and Melissa wouldn’t let me go unless I can show her I’m not going to live in a shithole so…”

“Yeah that I can get… She can be so scary sometimes. And those electric sticks she has hurts like a bitch. But she just cares about you and wants you to have a good home.” And Theo cared about her right back. He wasn’t letting himself think too much about the future otherwise he would need to face the fact that, yes, sooner than later he will be on his own. And while on many aspect it was what he craved it also meant he will be alone when he wakes up in the middle of the night after his sister chased him until her heart was in her hand once more. And he wasn’t looking forward to that at all.

“I know. She is too good for me.”

“No she isn’t. You deserve someone looking out for you.” Theo threw the beta one look that said it all, even that it was pointless to even argue. Not today. Probably not ever. Liam sighed and seemed to get the message, giving up on what would have been a pointless fight as silence settled between them once more. At least until Liam broke it. “Soooo what should we do now?”

“What else is there to test?”

“Well I don’t know you’re the one that grew up with the crazy scientist performing tests on people, you should know.”

“I doubt you would approve of the Dread Doctors methods. It involved needles and torture.” Theo’s mind brought him back to the countless of chimeras he had seen the doctors attempt to create. Attempting to make them show their abilities, pumping them with poison to see how fast they could heal. Cutting them open. And everything that they did on him. Everything that his mind repressed, trying to survive and forget the most horrific part of his past.

“Okay yeah probably not… Theo?” Liam calling his name brought the chimera back to the moment, looking at the beta only to see the concern filling his eyes.

“I’m good. Just… memories I’d rather not think about.” He needed a distraction before his mind went back to where Liam just pulled him out of. Before the only answer to protect himself from that will be to drown himself in power and violence. He needed to tire his brain out. “Know what we haven’t tested yet? Reflex.  And I know just what to do for that.” He jumped on his feet, offering his hand to help Liam up. The beta took it without hesitation. Small acts like this never failed to amaze Theo. It was nothing and yet everything. Liam trusted him to help him when Theo could just bring him to his feet and stab him in the back before it could ever register. And yet Liam never even thought about that for a second. No hesitation. And the beta didn’t even know how much that meant for Theo.

“What are we doing?”

“Training”

“Training?”

“Yes, nothing better than a fight to test your reflex, unless you want to make me catch balls or something.”

“Nope, training is good.” Liam answer before smirking and Liam swiftly removing his shirt and smugly seeing “Don’t want you to rip my shirt again” Theo couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight, taking it in. Liam truly was gorgeous and whoever will get to spend a part of their life with him will be the luckiest person alive. And Theo couldn’t help the desperate part inside of him that still hoped that despite everything this person could be him.  A beautiful delusion. Even if rationally he knew that this would just never happen. But hope and dreams weren’t squashed so easily. No matter how many time he told himself to stop it. Despite his self-control greater than most people he was still helplessly in love, there was only so much fighting he could do about that and couldn’t help but remove his own shirt right back. Especially when remembering Liam’s reaction to that earlier. Plus not destroying his clothes was a nice bonus.

The two of them spared for fun throwing and blocking punch, movements falling in synch more often than not. Theo wasn’t surprised, not after the hospital. Their instinct was to fight together, not against each other. Not anymore. Though if he was honest with himself he never really had any instinct to fight against the beta. They just enjoyed the exercise, fighting without the pressure of life or death situation. Pushing each other. Making Theo tap in his power. Liam had more raw strength but Theo matched that with superior fighting skills that he had acquired over the years. Though Liam was quite the fighter when he wasn’t letting his emotions blind him. Theo could still remember in the zoo when he had driven the beta angry, fighting for the hunters benefits, his punch had become sloppier as his emotions took over. With a little training and learning to manage to control his emotions in a fight or at least use them properly Liam could become an incredible fighter. Maybe he could help with that. But only once he was no longer an alpha.

Theo couldn’t help but reveal in how Liam was responding subconsciously to his every move. Even more so than back when they were fighting the hunters. It was truly incredible and he couldn’t understand why. Some of Liam’s reaction… It made Theo think of how someone would react to… But he couldn’t let himself finish that thought. The possibility alone was terrifying and he would do anything for it to not be true. But for now he pushed the unformed thought far back in his brain, doing his best to forget its existence and focus on the moment, enjoying Liam’s body colliding with his own until eventually they both ended up on the ground, all sweaty and exhausted, breathing hard.

 

* * *

 

After they had some rest and their breathing had gone back to normal, the both of them put their shirts back on their body. They decided to head back to Theo’s truck. Burning through that much energy had made them starving and they were trying to decide if they should raid Liam’s kitchen or go grab a bite to eat. The later seemed to be the smarter choice, avoiding Liam’s mom wondering what they did for them to eat everything that was in her fridge. The walk was much longer as they weren’t racing around the trees but Theo didn’t mind. He liked to be able to share this moment with his Sunshine. To be able to talk about everything and nothing, trying to rest his case for burritos while Liam craved pizza. Moment like this were so simple and he was grateful for each and everyone one of them. It will never cease to amazing him how he could be a part of it, how him, Theo Raeken, a cold-blooded killer, was granted a second chance. Forgiveness. Despite it all. He has always wondered why Liam had giving it to him.

He knew for a fact that the beta really didn’t like Nolan even when his ex-teammate had helped them in the end against the Hunters. The dude tried to kill the pack too, and had the Anukite to blame for, well partially, and yet it was Theo who was offered forgiveness. What had made him more deserving when his body count was higher? It was something he had been wondering about since the beta extended a hand toward him, offering him friendship and to this day he hadn’t been able to understand how the wolf could do such a thing, have a heart so huge he was willing to forgive all his sins. And for the first time he decided to try and get an answer. The chimera stopped dead in his track, the beta that was next to him the moment before turned around, throwing him a questioning look, clearing wondering why Theo wasn’t walking anymore, stopping mid-sentence about the description of the pizza he could have if only Theo agreed to it. The chimera wondered for a brief second if what he was about to ask would change anything, if he really wanted to know the answer. After all it could only be that they could use someone with Theo’s skill and the aspiring hunter was useless. But that wasn’t like the McCall pack. So he opened his mouth.

 “Can I ask you something?” Theo said hesitantly. He couldn’t help the part inside of him that apprehended the answer.

“Yeah of course.” the beta answered, eyes filled with curiosity.

“How could you forgive me for everything I did to you and the pack? How am I deserving of forgiveness when you still hold a grudge against Nolan?”

Liam sighed before launching himself in a long explanation. “You… it’s different. You did fucked up shit, manipulated us all to get power. But you were raised by literal monsters that taught you power was all that mattered. And yet you still managed to change, sure it took a traumatic stay in the ground but you came out of it different. You stayed. You decided to help us, let us drag you along, put you in jail just so we’d see you didn’t have any intention to fuck us over again. You tried. And as wrong as it was you had a goal when you did all the shit you did. Nolan had none of that. Sure the Anukite was running around making everyone terrified but he stabbed Corey and so many innocent just to see if they were humans. He and Gabe would have beaten me to death had I been human to proof I wasn’t just because we are different. And that’s on a whole other level of fucked up. He just hated us for what we are and I can’t get past that. Nolan and all the other… They were willing to hurt all those innocent people just out of hate. And we are not bedtime story monster running around killing people and destroying the town. They had no reason to hate us and yet… They did anyway. And before you say anything about Nolan helping us in the end you and I both know that happened because he got more scared of the Anukite than us and that’s the only reason he helped us. Because he believed we were his best shot at survival. There were plenty of people around town that didn’t try to murder us just because we’re werewolf. Fear isn’t an excuse for what he did. For what they did.” Liam finally paused only to add, sneering, a second later “Plus he is a whiny little bitch.”

The beta was looking at him, fire in his eyes. Theo hadn’t expected such an answer but clearly he had accidentally touched on a sensitive subject. And Liam had been right, fear couldn’t justify how regular citizen turned into bloodthirsty wannabe hunter. Even if it was supernatural fear. It didn’t affect everyone the same way and that clearly showed who people actually were. Showed who was a prejudiced asshole but only behaved because society imposed them to. The beta had too given it some thought before. Probably when he decided to forgive Theo after the hospital instead of just reluctantly work with him no matter how good at it they were. That fight put many things in perspective for them. It had been a new beginning in some sort, something had shifted in that moment. And even thought he had never expected such a passionate reaction it was an answer he could accept and make peace with. The hunter situation had obviously affected the beta more than he had led on.

“Okay.” Theo could tell through the beta’s mixed chemosignal that the situation had much more of an effect on him than most people knew. And there was something inside of him, something he rarely used, that urged him to give the beta the opportunity to talk more if he needed. So he did. “That hunter situation really messed you up uh?“

“Yeah. It showed the true color of many people. Some of which I thought were my friends. Apparently that was conditional.”

“And they did kill some of your friends. You’re never going to forgive any of them for that are you?”

“Probably not. It’s just… I couldn’t save them. I was so close but… They still died. And that… yeah.” Theo couldn’t help but be in awe of the werewolf in front of him. If Theo had been in Liam’s place he would have retaliated at Brett for what he did a long time ago. He would certainly not be mourning him like the beta did.

“I’ll never understand how you can call someone who bullied you a friend. You are something else entirely.” Liam’s scent suddenly turned sour, causing Theo’s eyebrows frown in confusion.

“You called him friend. I didn’t. Brett was… I.. It’s more complicated than that. We were on the same team at Devenport and he bullied me because I lost it during a game… Back then it hurt cause it was my teammate who locked me into a cage and threw balls at me which is awful on its own but then… Everything changed when I turned into a werewolf. There was so much shit going on I didn’t really thought about everything that happened, he was just another person I knew that was a werewolf. Someone that could understand some of the things I was going through. And he acted like nothing ever happened, so I guess part of me just forgot. Pushed it back to not deal with that on the top of everything else. Who wants to be remembered about terrible memories right? And we had more important things to worry about anyway I just never looked back on it. Well until being at the zoo brought it all back but this time I knew what he was and that changed everything. Made everything worse. Human bully they just hurt you. Brett was a born wolf. He could smell everything I was feeling, knew that on the field all I felt was this incontrollable rage that comes over me during an episode, he was able to deal there was something wrong with me back then. And he knew how scared and hurt I was in those caged and he kept going on. Back when I was first turned and he showed up to play against us at a game he had to know what happened to me, he could tell I was genuinely trying to make peace with him and he still acted like a total dick. That’s what I don’t get with him? How could he just do all that shit knowing what he does as a wolf? It just makes it so much worse. And I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to feel about him. Part of me hates him for what he did to me and I… but he is dead and it just doesn’t feel right. I’m not as good as you think that I am.”

He could smell the turmoil of different emotions Liam was feeling over Brett. Guilt, obviously, pain, fear from the past. But also anger and a tiny bit of satisfaction. The chimera knew exactly what was truly bothering the beta. What made him feel even more guilty due to his own feeling. And Liam’s last statement twisted something in Theo’s heart. It made him worry that he was putting too much expectation on Liam and the beta needed to know he didn’t have to be perfect. Theo wasn’t putting him on a pedestal. He was seeing him for who he was, with his shortcoming and greatness and everything in between. The good and the bad. And that was what made him so real, what made him feel like Sunshine. It was stronger than him, he grabbed Liam’s face, putting all his intent into words, hoping the emotions in his eyes will be strong enough for Liam to see them.

“I know you’re not perfect Liam. But you’re good enough to be like Sunshine to me. You do your best and that’s plenty enough. But don’t think for one second I don’t see the darker part.” The soft smile on Liam’s lips told Theo that the other boy heard him and had believed him. He slowly let go of the beta’s face, letting his fingers linger on his cheeks, sadly there was no reason to hold on anymore.

“As for Brett well… Sounds like he was a dick. He hurt you and just because he is dead… It doesn’t take any of it away. You’re allowed to feel however you want about it. If there is one thing I’ve learned from all of that it’s that what matters is your actions not your feelings. It’s what you do about what’s inside of you that impacts people.”

“Mason roughly told me the same thing. You know that’s decent advice? Who knew Theo Raeken could be wise like that?” Theo revealed in Liam’s teasing tone, glad that the beta was trying to lighten up the mood. He couldn’t help the spike of jealousy going through his head. He wished he was the one Liam would share his feelings first. But he also knew that was pointless and selfish. His Sunshine could do whatever he pleased and Mason was his best friend, of course it was who he will go to when he had problems. And at least a part of him was happy that Liam had someone in his life with whom he could share everything and that was there to support him like that.

“Not many people that’s for sure. Come on, a pizza is waiting for you.” The least he could do was cave and give the beta his food of choice after their discussion. Plus he could always use it as leverage to convince Liam to come eat out with him again. And he will take whatever time he can get with his Sunshine.

“For real?” The smile on Liam’s face alone was worth sacrificing his need for a burrito, bringing a soft smile on his own face.

“Yeah, for real.” He answered through his smile, following the beta that had already started to walk again, considerably faster than before. Pizza was a very good motivation or so it seemed.

After a while they made it back to the truck, Liam having eventually slowed down back to a normal pace. Liam was leaning against the vehicle while Theo was rummaging in the backseat, getting them the water bottles he took with them when they left from Mason’s house. Once he retrieved them Theo handed one to Liam and it only took the two boys a couple of seconds to drain them. They both let the truck support their full weight as they shared a look and started to laugh unable to help themselves.

“Suggestion for next time: bring the water bottle with you?” Theo managed to breathe in between fits of laughter causing Liam to explode again. Theo wished he could always see Liam like this, carefree and happy, enjoying the moment, sounds of joy escaping from his lips. But like everything this moment too had to end. Slowly the laughter died down in their throat and they were just left there, catching their breaths against the truck, looking at each other. The moment changed, something twisted between them and a tension started to surround them, Liam’s eyes turning away, hi breathing becoming hesitant and his heart speeding up. Theo could feel hints of fear meaning from the beta and that… Had Liam finally realized? If he did it would have been a good cosmic joke. Giving Theo a perfect day, making him start to hope only to shatter it later. But he couldn’t enjoy the irony of it all right now, Liam was scared and he needed to do something about it.

He slowly wrapped his hand around his Sunshine’s forearm, leaving him time to pull back, saying his name softly, causing the beta to look at him again. He hadn’t expected to see the haunted look in his eyes. Liam opened and closed his mouth several times, Theo waiting patiently for him to let the words out, until finally it happened.

“Can I tell you something?” He knew that wasn’t actually the word Liam had been trying to let out for the last minutes, it was him finding a way to give himself the courage to do so. And Theo could only be there for him and help him anyway he could.

“Always.” The beta turned his gaze away from the chimera and started to talk.

“I…” The beta’s voice broke. He took a deep breath before trying once more. “I was so scared you’d leave. Everyone is. One after the other. I didn’t want to be alone. And I know that at some point you will too but… I… I just didn’t want to lose you too. I don’t think I could have handled it so when you became an alpha… It terrified me. I knew you’ll see leaving as your only option and there was a very real chance that we wouldn’t be able to stop you. I knew I couldn’t. I’m… I’m just really glad you stayed.” The beta finished, finally looking at Theo again, eyes filled with tears. And Theo had to fight every cell in his body to not wipe them away and hold him close. His heart broke for the boy that kept losing people. They might not be dead but they were still gone, leaving him in charge, facing expectations and responsibilities. That couldn’t be easy.

“Liam… I’m sorry I worried you, and you need to know I’m not planning on going anywhere.” At least not right now, not when he was so lost in the good around him. When the darkness will catch up to him, inevitably, then he will consider leaving if he still has enough lucidity to do so. “Not everyone is gone you know. You still have Mason and Corey and the rest of the pack is just a phone call away”

“I know. It’s just not the same with Mason and Corey, they can be of tremendous help but when it comes to physically fighting the monsters… it’s nice to know I have someone by my side that can hit as hard as I can. Well almost as hard.” Theo smiled at the dig, it showed Liam still had some spirit in him, reassured him, letting a few moments pass in silence, letting the beta gather his thoughts, Theo could tell from his behavior that there was more he wanted to say.

“It goes back to way before the pack. I have abandonment issues I guess. You know how David isn’t my real dad?” Theo nodded at that, he had heard all about Liam’s father that lived halfway across the country.  “My real one left when I was 3 and that left its mark. I’ve had a thing about people leaving me behind ever since. That’s why the idea of the pack leaving was so hard on me, especially Scott. And then you… I just couldn’t… I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t there. So thank you I guess for not leaving.” The beta said, his blue eyes staring straight into Theo’s, filled with emotion. At least the tears were gone this time but all the chimera wanted to do still was to hug the other boy and kiss him, protecting him from all the pain in the world. But that’s not something he could do so instead he let his hold on Liam’s arm loosen, fingers ghosting over his skin. He reached for the beta’s hand, squeezed it in support and letting it there, their fingers slowly entangling themselves. He was just feeling the warmth of their linked hands spread through him before speaking, trying his hardest to stay focused on what he wanted to say and not loose himself in the feeling of their entangled hands.

“I promise you I’ll never leave you. I’ll be by your side. Always. Not if I can help it. And your father is a fool for leaving behind someone as amazing as you and your mom. Though something tells me you won at the change in the end, you got to have David as a dad instead of what I bet was a total dickhead.” That drew a small smile from his Sunshine and Theo couldn’t help but return it. The atmosphere around them was so charged with emotion he swore he could almost see them as thick smoke around the beta. And Theo had meant it. He would do anything to be able to stay with his Sunshine. Anything to never leave. To lock the darkness far away from him. And stand where he was in that moment. Next to Liam.

They stood in silence, next to each other, letting the moment pass, Theo giving Liam the time to reign over his emotions before they finally climbed in the truck, driving toward the pizza that were promised what felt like hours ago. Neither of them were really good with emotions, sure they could share them in the heat of the moment like they did before but the aftermath… It was easier to pretend, easier to talk about upcoming games and movies than acknowledge what happened in the woods. What started to shift between them. What Theo was pretending wasn’t happening. What he couldn’t let himself know was happening. So they did just that, teasing each other and bickering, share food and smiles.

They eventually went back to Liam’s house were the second movie night was planned. Though after the previous night it will probably be an open war on mariokart. Theo couldn’t help but think about how Liam had looked at him, how what they had shared will seemingly brought them closer. And part of him wanted that desperately, to be as close as he possibly could with his Sunshine. But the other part knew that he couldn’t get too close for Liam’s sake. At least not yet. Because… He couldn’t even let himself think it. It shouldn’t be possible but if it were to happen with anyone, of course it would be with the first person that accepted him with open arms despite his flaws and saw how much he had changed. He just couldn’t risk it and the way Liam looked at him didn’t help him calm down. It couldn’t happen. He needed the spark gone now. Urgency started to flood in his veins. It couldn’t wait anymore. Plan B it was.

 

* * *

 

Once they made it to the beta’s house where a shower was available, they couldn’t just pass that up. They sweated a lot through the afternoon and their sensitive wolf noses needed away from those not so pleasant scents. Plus feeling clean was always nice. Theo grabbed the bag from his backseat that contained his emergency clothes before following the beta inside. He could tell something was bothering Liam from the way he kept eyeing at him. And the bag. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where the beta’s thoughts were headed, not after their conversation from earlier.

“Don’t tell me spare clothes would never come in handy with our lives. I’m just being prepared, there is nothing more to it.” He said without being prompted to do anything, hoping it would calm the wolf down. “I’m not planning on going back to living in my truck and I’m not going anywhere.” He couldn’t help but add, hoping that would reassure the beta completely. It seemed to work.

“Good.’ Liam answered with a small smile before adding “I should probably leave spare clothes in your truck too uh?” Theo blinked blankly at him. Liam wanted to leave clothes with him, because Theo’s truck was the vehicle, he pictured himself in when faced with danger. And that… Liam was at it again, with the smallest comments destroying Theo’s worlds without even realizing. Before the could answer though the beta was gone.

Theo waited patiently for Liam to be done with his shower, sitting on the wolf’s bed, playing with his phone until the beta reappeared, hair still wet, letting him know the bathroom was free. When he entered the room, he saw the towel Liam had thoughtfully laid out on the counter for Theo and his nose was attacked by the scent of Liam’s shower gel. The one he was going to use. Liam didn’t smell like him anymore but now he could smell like his Sunshine and that was just as good. He stripped down and stepped under the hot water, enjoying lathering himself with what he had come to associate with the beta’s scent. Once he walked out of the bathroom, dressed in clean clothes, he followed the voice he could recognize out of a million in a heartbeat downstairs only to be met with Liam have seemingly convinced his mom to finally give him that much needed haircut. Theo somehow doubted she had required much convincing even after a day at work, her only complain seemed to be that Liam should warn her next time so they could schedule him to the hair saloon instead of doing it in their own home with her backup tools.

When Liam spotted Theo he was way too happy to tell him that he won’t be able to laugh at him anymore for trying to blow his hair away. Theo was just happy to watch Jenna work as she gave her son a decent haircut again. The end result was stunning, Liam still had a decent length on the top and his side was shaved but not too short. It looked stunning. And quite like the boy had looked when he freed him. Mason and Corey showed up not long after Jenna was done with Liam and after they both had a moment with the beta’s new look the four boys disappeared upstairs, spending the rest of their night having fun and enjoying destroying each other at video games.

Luckily for Theo both Mason and Corey decided to go home after a well filled night instead of sharing Liam’s bed and floor. One night of all of them sleeping piled up in a room had been enough. Theo used it as an excuse to go home as well. But he didn’t go there straight away. He made a little detour. His truck came to a stop in front of the place that had given him answers just the day before. He had to fight a bit with the upgraded security system but nothing he couldn’t handle. He had broken in in more secured places than that over the years. Eventually he was inside the animal clinic, walking past the mountain ash protection as it didn’t exist and opening the cabinet where he last saw what he needed. Belasko’s claws. He was in and out in less than five minutes, the jar in his hand as he closed the door and set up the alarm again. Deaton was bound to realize the claws are missing eventually but hopefully not before he could convince Corey to use them on him. But that will have to wait for the morning, for now he knew the other chimera was happily sleeping in the arms of his boyfriend and his problem wasn’t urgent enough to disturb their peace. Plus a not rudely awoken Corey might be more receptive to his request and if Mason wasn’t there to call Liam and have the beta talk him out of it, that could only be a bonus.

Theo drove back to the McCall house, slipped in silently as to not wake up Melissa and Scott, soundly asleep in their bed, after having secured the claws in his truck. He couldn’t risk them laying around and it was still the safest place nearby right now. Going to hide it in the old operating theater or somewhere else, somewhere safer, would have been a waste of time considering he planned to go to Corey’s in the afternoon at the latest. But for now the chimera went to sleep, letting his mind rest from the rollercoaster of emotion he experienced during the day.

 

* * *

 

Theo waited for the mid-afternoon, spending the morning with Melissa and Scott watching movies, before heading to Corey’s house. He knew the other boy would be home, hopefully alone. Once he made it there he could see there was no other car and according to his now superior hearing the other chimera was the only heartbeat in his house. He grabbed the jar from where he had secured it under the backseats and walked toward the door, ringing the bell and waiting for his friend to open up. He knew there was a high chance Corey wouldn’t be interested but there was no question about who out of the two of them deserved that power more. Who would be the better alpha. Maybe soon he will be free again. And he will be able to keep his promise without a doubt, Liam won’t ever have to worry about him leaving. The door opened and Theo started to talk, facing his destiny. There was no going back.

“Hey. I… I need your help.”

Corey looked at him, clearly surprised, he hadn’t been expecting him to show up on his doorstep. The chimera stepped aside letting him in, Theo could feel his eyes burning on the jar in his hands, probably realizing what it was. Theo dropped the jar on the close by kitchen counter

“Is that…” Corey started.

“Belasko’s claws? Yes” Theo finished for him, there was no point to run around in circle.

“Theo…” From Corey’s voice he knew already the boy wouldn’t help. He might have a chance to convince him, but it was slim. It wasn’t like he had much hope to begin with anyway. He just had to try.

“I need you to hear me out okay? Please?”

“Fine.” Corey answered, clearly not enthusiastic about it but Theo was just glad his friend was going to let him do his speech.

“We both know I should never be an alpha. And Liam… I can’t let anything happen to him because of me. Because of what I will inevitably turn back into. People will get hurt. By me. And I don’t want that to happen. I promised Liam to stay. Since I can’t go anymore when it’s time the power has to go. Before it’s too late.” Theo hoped that would be enough to convince the other chimera. He knew that if he really wanted to he could have build up his case, slowly manipulate Corey, weeks of works. He had the skills no doubt about that. But that’s not something he wanted to do to his friends. Honesty was the best policy. Plus he wasn’t sure he could last weeks. Not after the taste he had yesterday. He could still feel how good it felt. How strong. And ever since he left his Sunshine’s side last night the darkness inside him was whispering louder and louder, begging to be let out. He couldn’t stay with Liam 24/7 no matter how much he might want to. He needed a solution.

“What exactly happened with Liam yesterday? I thought things were good? Going back to normal.” Of course Corey was too perceptive to not caught on the sudden change, on Friday he had been convinced to try and be normal again and not even two days after he was back where he started.

“It doesn’t matter what happened. Things were shared and it put some stuff in perspective. It needs to stop because Liam is… Too good. Too close. I can’t let anything happen. So will you?” The fear of what might happen was still there. He was an alpha and he couldn’t get too close. It was too dangerous. Because what if Liam… He just couldn’t even finish that thought.

“Use them? On you?” Theo didn’t need to say the words. Corey knew what the claws did, what Theo wanted was simple and both of them knew it.

“Yes. Take the power. Become the alpha. You’re the only one who can. It has to be you.” Theo could tell the last part made Corey react.

“Why? ” Even if the other chimera already knew the answer to his question deep down, he needed Theo to say it out loud. Once it was out there it couldn’t be ignored, none of them could pretend this might work with any random werewolf wanting power.

“you know why. It’s the reason I’m on your doorstep and not three towns over looking for the first werewolf seeking power that looks like he wouldn’t kill me for it. You’re the only one left beside me. You’re the only other chimera. I know it’s a lot to ask. But I need you do it.” Theo could tell through the chimera’s chemosignals and what he could read in his eyes that he was actually considering it. Hope started to rise in his chest. He might be free in a few moment. He just needed a bit more. Needed to say the right thing.

“is it safe?” The one last apprehension he had. Of course Corey had to ask that question. He could lie but if it went wrong it would put a weight on the other chimera. And he had already ruined his life enough in the past.

“For you yes.”

“I’m not worried about me, I know you wouldn’t be asking otherwise.” He knew it had been hopeless to believe that answer would have been enough for his friend but he had to try before extinguishing all hope. He had been so close. And now he was about to take it all away.

“The truth is I don’t know. If you can take only the alpha spark it should be. But if you take more… I have no idea what that will do to me. There is no way to tell how my body could react with not being a chimera anymore. Not with all the shit they did to me.” He already knew that whatever would come next out of Corey’s mouth will be a no.

“I won’t. I’m sorry Theo I want to be there for you and help you through this as much as I can but I won’t help you destroy yourself.” He knew he should just accept that. Walk away and find another way but he was so close. And he was still Theo Raeken. Darkness boiling in his veins. So he did what he does best when faced with rejection. Lashing out hoping to change the results, trying to guilt trip Corey by using his words.

“You want me to stay like this? For things to end up exactly like they did the last time I was an alpha? People will die. And this time I won’t be the only one to blame. You said it yourself. I cannot be trusted with power, here is your chance to make sure I don’t have to be so take it.” From the other chimera’s face he knew he had failed. His outburst had been expected and Corey was just looking at him, arms crossed and an eyebrow raising as if he was waiting to see if Theo would continue his rant. There was no use in throwing hurtful words at his friend. He lost. When it became clear he wouldn’t he started to speak.

“Are you done? Of course I don’t want all of that to happen but I also don’t think that’s the right way to go about it. What’s the point of getting the power out of you if you can’t live to see it?” The one downfall of having friends. They wouldn’t let him do what was necessary. But the fact that Corey cared enough to want him survive this enough to risk the safety of the whole town was… How was he supposed to even react to that? How could that even happen?

“I won’t help you” Corey added. “You can say whatever you want but I’m not changing my mind.” Theo knew he could make it happen. Threaten the right people and Corey would sink the claws right into him. But he went through this already. Losing his power was pointless if he had to lose everyone else too.

“Fine.” He said, defeated. He attempted to grab the jar from where he put it earlier, but Corey was faster than him.

“Oh no I’m keeping those. You are not going to do something incredibly stupid with that at least.” Corey was probably right in doing so. And there was one more thing Theo was scared he would do.

“You’re going to tell Liam aren’t you?”

“Yes. Sorry. I guess you can expect him yelling at you soon.” The chimera said, not sounding apologetic at all. The beta will definitely be angry with him that’s for sure. For now he should go. Work on another option. Find another way. He still had Deaton’s book after all.

“Thanks anyway. And Corey? Keep those safe. Remember them when it’s time.” If he couldn’t have them back at least Corey could use them when he will be lost to the world. It will be either putting him back in the ground or killing him otherwise so at least now they had a way to maybe let him live.

Theo walked out, power still flowing through his veins and nowhere near ready to not be. Well he still had Deaton’s book to study and… That. But he wasn’t just that desperate yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will theo stop trying to do stupid shit? Probably never!  
> If a chapter gets out of control like that again length wise would you rather have me split it in two or not?


End file.
